Ok so funny story. The other day, I over at our kitchen garbage can doing something (putting in trash or something) and some how I broke the lid. So joking my husband has been teasing me about being the "hulk" ... I mean, really is that a bad thing? :) I mean have you seen Trish's pictures on PnP! If I can look like that, ok then .... I am not going to cry any tears in my beer about it.
Yesterday, I did something that really tested my ability and made me feel proud about myself. About a month ago, I wouldn't be able to do a "guy pushup" if it were to save my life. But yesterday I did. I came home proud from the gym, go to my DH and say ... LOOK! I show him that I can do it. Then I get the camera & have him take both a video and a picture of me doing it. While he is messing with trying to get our flash working, I was in the push up position for at least like 7 seconds holding. I was so proud ....... I am getting stronger and stronger each day. I feel it and I love it. I just can't wait to see the rewards of my pretty muscles coming out and showing themselves off ;)
I want to say one thing! You have to really BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! Everyone can tell you that you can do it, you may need a butt chewing here and there but this has to come from you soul and just do it. I really do believe that. I start to see changes in me overall; mentally and physically. Everyday I go to the gym, I tell myself that I can do it. I can be the person who I want to be, not the person that I am! I think sometimes people rely on others so much that they MIGHT forget that ultimately it comes down to one person. Thats YOU! You can gain a ton of encouragement, support to help you through your journey (and I do have a lot of and I love you all) but the ONE person that can get you to the gym is you, the one person who can resist a cookie or a chip in the mouth is YOU. You have to make these decisions. JUST DO IT! (I should work for Nike!) I am around other people and I hear the excuses (and I have used them too) that they did this or that because it was there or they were at a friends house., they were stressed out. Ok we all say this but really .... YOU ARE THE ONE PICKING UP THE COOKIE or making the decision not to get to the gym. I had to finally get that through this thick head of mine and now I am starting to see it and believe it. I have been REALLY proud of myself that I have been able to talk myself out of eating the horrors of chips, cookies, candy ...... and look at my overall goal in life. :) Now its up to you, what will you do?
1.31.2008
Posted by Becca at 9:41 AM 1 comments
1.29.2008
Crazy weather ...
This weather has been crazy this winter. We experienced a flood, we have been having a lot more snow than normal. BRRR!! For awhile, we just had a FREEZING cold weather. BRRR! Its hard to get out and exercise or even go to the gym. All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep :)
Today I got this forward and I was thinking that I would love to deal with the cold freezing weather if I could just freeze off "certain" unhappy spots on myself. :) I hope you all enjoy it.
I was able to get my cardio in today. I did Taebo advanced and I wasn't able to get through it all but I did workout hard. I burned 50o calories and I was still dripping sweat when I was done for awhile!! Thats a GREAT workout!! :) I hope you all have a great w/o!!! Get lifting and sweating!! :)
Posted by Becca at 8:49 PM 0 comments
1.28.2008
Retraining our brains
For so long, we have been brainwashed on thinking that we should either be a side -0 because that is what Hollywood said and the only way to do this is by starving ourselves and etc or always hearing that strength training is going to bulk you up and you want long, lean muscles.
Posted by Becca at 11:13 AM 0 comments
1.27.2008
Challenges, Commitments ...
When you hear these words what do you think of? Probably something that has to do with fitness, diets or something? You are right. I am thinking of the challenges that I am in and how I am working hard on getting myself Phit n Phat! :) I was thinking about what can make us stall on our weight loss!! Honestly!!! Is it just a bite of cookie here and there? Those bites, licks, tastes could absolutely stall our weight loss!! Remember everyone ... you are only cheating YOURSELF! By doing this, you wont get the results you want, you will be getting disappointed, maybe even not having any motivation to move forward. So only way to do this is to take it SERIOUSLY! Commit to yourself for a certain amount of time and you will see this WONDERFUL reward ahead of you.
The other day I had leg workout and I was FEELING it. I am pleased only for the fact that I LOVE it cause it really made me feel GOOD! I was like "Yes, look at me. I am doing it. I am giving it my 100%."
I am going to have to work around things this week so that I can get my workouts in but I WILL get them all done. :) I have preplanned our meals and I am EXCITED! :)
Posted by Becca at 9:04 PM 1 comments
1.26.2008
Bowling ...
Today I had to work but after work, I met up with my sweetie and Thomas. We went and had dinner at Red Robin. Not the best idea but I wanted a chicken burger so bad .... (dust the mistake off my butt & move on). We decided to go bowling afterwards. It was so much fun!!!! :) I think we are going to try to go bowling again or make plans to go at least once a month. :)
I completely suck at it but I did have fun and enjoy myself! :)
Posted by Becca at 9:18 PM 0 comments
1.24.2008
Get off my back ...
Lately the stress has been resting on my shoulders. I think it was due to overtired, family issues, tom, etc. Whenever this comes up, I am quick to think .... "I WANT CANDY". I must admit that I did buy some, I took one bite and threw it in the garbage. I was like "what are you doing? " I need to stop this cycle ...
I started at the gym but left feeling good. Please hope that I don't quit what I started. I have been worried that I won't do good at the challenge. I think tom snuck up and I wasn't prepared mentally.I have had a lot on my plate lately and seems to me whenever I think I can take a deep breath that I can't do that.
I have been going to the gym a few times downstairs in our work building. I do a GREAT job leaving it all there when I am alone but as soon as people are there and I think that they may pay attention to what I am doing, I am all 1/2 hearted cause I dont want to look stupid. I really need to pull my focus together. I am planning on trying to break my workouts apart so they don't seem so intense that I can't do them and that I am REALLY giving it my all instead of just trying to get it done and over so that I can get home.
I will do this. I have the love, support and I know I have the willpower!!! I just need leave my other problems at the door and work on doing WHAT I need to do and I can DO for ME!!!
Posted by Becca at 9:09 AM 0 comments
1.20.2008
Break Free ...??
What are we working toward? Do you have a date in mind? Sometimes I have no motivation to do anything. The scale is taking too long to show the results I want. Its like when I go to the gym, I expect to see results immediately in my ol' noggin. So here are a few things that I am using as "spring/ summertime goals or things to work toward though this is a LIFESTYLE I want to develop into.
- 9 weeks until my 7th year anniversary
- 16 weeks until my 27th birthday
- 24 weeks until week with my family (4th of July)
- 31 weeks until our big camping trip at the lake
My life goals:
- I want sexy arms, sexy abs, legs that I feel like I can wear shorts, capris, & skirts ...
- I want a healthier lifestyle to help me add years to my life I want to have a more active lifestyle ...
- I want to be a great example for my family and my future children ...
Posted by Becca at 8:09 PM 0 comments
1.19.2008
Sometimes we all get frustrated with the scale. There are so many things that can make it move either up or down. I can say that is how I am feeling today. I jump on there to see a "gain" but I am trying to remember that I am doing ST right now so I need not worry too much. My TOM is coming up closely. Most girls have been trained to think that they have to "weigh" a certain amount. I am trying hard to get that out of my head. I am worried about how my clothes fit, what the mirror says, what my husband says .... I am trying hard but it does effect me. I ask "do you think I need to lock up the scale"?
On another note, my sister all of the sudden has decided she wants to do something about her weight, going to the gym and etc. Should I be happy? Yes. I struggle with this. I am happy as that she is doing something for her health. On the other hand, I get so tired of not being able to do something without having her copy me. I am not joking when I say this but she will cut her hair the same, she will dye her the same, try the same kind of clothes (even if they aren't her style). So while its nice she is doing something again I just feel like "here we go again"!! I can say that I hope she does it for HERSELF and not for someone else. Am I crazy to think this way? Maybe its just the "sister competition" thing but it just bothers me.
Update on my HRM. I love it!!! Yesterday I was able to see how many calories I burned. So much more than what the treadmill said or the plug in for the sparkpeople. I am so glad that I invested in it. Its nice to know the ACTUAL calories burnt! :) I love my new toy/ gadget!!!!!
Posted by Becca at 12:06 PM 0 comments
1.18.2008
I got a new toy today ......
I got a new toy today. I have been talking about getting one for awhile but I have been slow to move in that direction but today I decided to go ahead and get myself a HRM. I am really trying to give my ALL in my fitness and one of the ways I need to be able to do this is by exercise and making sure I am burning my total calories. :)
So to me and my new toy ..... HORRAY! Who would have ever thought of me wanting gadgets for fitness :) I get so excited over the small things, new protein powder, HRM, Treadmill, Bootcamp (yah ... BootcamP)
Tonight, I plan on kicking butt at the gym. I am going to be trying to go back to the gym 3x a week if possible until we figure out what we want to do about a treadmill. :) Super excited!! have a great weekend planned as well. :)
Posted by Becca at 1:38 PM 1 comments
1.17.2008
Update .....
Okay so I tried the protein powder as soon as I got home. :) I couldn't even wait for dinner .. :)
I LOVE IT!!! I can only imagine what is going to taste like all frozen up and goodness. :) I am so happy I got it. I had Vincent try a little drink and he said "Not bad for a drink like that ...." hehe! :)
So if you are a little fruity like me .... You got to try the Matrix Orange Cream Protein Powder :) You will love it!!
Posted by Becca at 5:59 PM 0 comments
Did I hear Protein Powder ...???
I think I am crazy !! Why? Cause I am so excited, I can't wait to get home and try my new protein powder that came in the mail today! :) Please don't commit me to a mental ward yet :)
I have heard a ton of raves about the Matrix 5.0, Orange Creme Protein Powder. So I ordered some online. Vincent called to tell me that it was delivered. :) Its like fitness/ nutrition is wrapping itself all around me and I'm loving it!!! :)
I can't wait for my evening snack!!! :)
Posted by Becca at 2:55 PM 0 comments
1.14.2008
Day 1 of 84 day challenge
Thats right!!!! DAY ONE!!!!! I am bummed that I didn't get to workout that I planned but I am planning on making it up :) I am going to try to do one day 2x cardio and then I can make up my cardio that I missed today. I am doing great food wise. I am super excited. Where or what will I look like in 12 weeks? I hope that I am down a few more pounds, maybe even a few more inches. :) I keep looking at some of the new outfits out there for summer but I AM NOT going to buy anything until after this challenge and maybe there will be another one to join or maybe I will make up my own challenge. I have a lot of motivation head of me!!!! :)
Lets do it!!!!! I know we all can do it. Just have to try hard!!!! If it was as easy as sitting on the couch, we would all be skinny, right? :)
Posted by Becca at 8:50 PM 1 comments
1.13.2008
WII Boxing
I finally broke down and tried the Wii Boxing tonight. It was so much fun! Talk about a little bit of a workout!!! I broke a sweet doing it but it was definitely fun. I did a great job too!!! :) I didn't get knock downed until like Game 6 or something. :) Its definitely a lot of fun!! :) Give it a try!!!!
Posted by Becca at 9:24 PM 1 comments
Preplanning
I am really happy that with my progress with making changes to my life for making it better. Is it easy? Heck no!! It takes a lot of work but one of the "tools" or "keys" would you say that I use is that I have been pre-planning. Yep, thats right!!! I have figured out what I am doing with both my food and my exercise routines! Its hard to preplan your week all the time. Sometimes you may feel "trapped" or feel like you aren't able to change your mind or something. Now if you have preplanned you would switch Tuesdays dinner for Mondays dinner if you wanted too but the key is that you are looking, planning to make sure you get in all your HG's in all the time. Are you getting enough calories, protein, fiber, carbs .... then you have your fruits, veggies!!!? I have found if I do this there are a lot less bumps in the road, less speed bumps hit at 50mph! This is if your life and the only person that can take control of it. I will say until I am blue in my face but I have seen how preplanning can TRULY help.
How about this? Try to preplan one meal for the week! Then start adding to it. Next, your workouts!!!
On the bright side this week, I lost 2.4lbs! I couldn't believe it!!! I was so EXCITED!
This weekend was a great weekend! We had a friend up, I didn't overindulge on anything. I did have a little bite or two cookies but I limited myself and I didn't let myself get out of control! I am really pleased. Sugar is my "crack" and I am glad that I am getting over it.
My sweetie mentioned that he can see that I lost some weight in my face!!! It means a lot of me to have him be so supportive. He is always helping me, he is always listening to me and I know that he is probably tired of hearing it all the time but he is sweet and listens. :) He helps wtih the meal preparing. Yippee!! Also here is some more little "woohoo" that I received that helps me keep going.
- WOOHOO Becca... so proud of you. You are just this little PNP blossom! Good job on the planning. That's such a huge part of the battle!~M.W.
- Becca, I am just so proud of you. You have really turned the corner and are making this part of your life and making great decisions that are going to get you closer to your goal each day. Just keep doing it and I promise you will see the progress and be so thankful for the good choices you made. ~D.
- Seriously - you earned this girl and I'm so proud of you - I'm beaming right now! ~T.T.
I have more but I don't want to seem like a hothead :) But all the love, support has HONESTLY helped me this week! It makes me feel like I am getting a viritual hug from all of my wonderful PnP girls!! (((HUGS)))
Posted by Becca at 7:43 PM 0 comments
1.11.2008
Today I found out from my sister and my mom should be coming (Its PLANNED) to come out here July 2-July 9th!!! Basically 24 weeks until they are out here. My mom knows that I am working out and trying to lose weight. I even have mentioned it to my sister as well but I am not going to be sending any pictures of progress at all until they come out. :)
I am excited. Its the first time my sister will have come out here since my wedding (7 years ago) and my mom (3 years) so that will be nice to have them out here. I think we are going to plan on going to the beach one day. :)
Anyhow I am really excited and everything. I was talking to my mom this morning about attitude and etc. It drives me insane anymore that people are always making excuses cause I am the queen of excuses and I left them out the door!!!!! :)
Well I can't wait to see the shock on their faces!!! To a new me!!!!
Posted by Becca at 9:28 AM 0 comments
1.10.2008
My little secret ...
My secret!!! I am having this competitive side of me with my family. For starters, my sister and mom are going to come down for July 4th for a week (I guess) and my sister and I are both overweight. She always wants to lose weight (just like me) but never does anything about it. She bailed on me for our Bloomsday run in May (grr). She made an off the wall comment to me the other day that I guess we just have to accept that our genetics are going to be that we will be over weight for the rest of our lives. OH I DON'T THINK SO!!! So anyhow I really really want to pump up my exercise, my endurance and get losing some weight and inches. I want to prove that we can do it. Its not impossible, you just have to do it and believe!!! So to my sisters dismay I am not going to be telling her all my hard work until she sees me. I really need to do this not only for me but in hopes that I can try to inspire my sister. My family has too many health issues right now and we need to get focused on getting healthier, stronger and trying our best. Also my DH wants to start working out as well so I am hoping that we can get slim, trim together.
I have done my homework on this. I have 24 weeks to work hard. ONLY ONE TIME during this will I be struggling and that is the week of my anniversary, the last week of the challenge but we are trying to work around it so I can finish the challenge on top :)
PS I love this picture except for my weight had a big ol' knock on my head. Like "hello ... what are you doing to yourself"! But I am now focused and doing it. I have been very active in my PnP and asking questions as well becoming friends with people who I can really relate too. I think that this time I will do it. NOTHING CAN STOP ME. I am a machine. :)
Posted by Becca at 8:42 AM 1 comments
1.08.2008
Willpower ??
Sometimes we have days that we have awesome willpower, some days we honestly slack in willpower. This is a brag for me but today has been a real stressful day at work and also for my co-worker, Erma (as in previous blogs names have been changed to protect my rights) . We weren't able to leave for lunch but we were able to get out for 1/2 hour to go and grab a coffee. Great! So we go by Starbucks, grab a coffee but next door is the archway to evil. COLDSTONE CREAMERY!!! Ice cream! Oh how I love ice cream! Erma decides that a coffee is not good enough (side not .. not SF, NF either) but we must have ice cream. I dug my heels in deep and said "I am not going to go to Coldstone. I am already getting a coffee (NF, SF, Tall Iced Latte) and I am not going to sabotage my workouts for the week or my hard work on eating healthy on 5 minutes of pleasure.
Anyhow this is a huge NSV for me. Why? I am the girl usually with NO WILLPOWER and will do everything fly by the night thinking that its just ONE COOKIE, ONE ICE CREAM, ONE whatever!!! Not anymore. I am going to change!!! I do have willpower inside of myself and I will do this for me! :)
Posted by Becca at 1:34 PM 2 comments
1.07.2008
Scratch out Bloomsday
I have had my heart on the table with the thought of me and my sister getting together for the Bloomsday run in May '08. I was just really looking forward to a "sister weekend". We haven't had this since well I was maybe 16 years and I thought it would be fun. Today I got the email from her saying she didn't think that she would be able to do Bloomsday because of money & etc. She said "Let's do it again some other time ..." Anyhow I kind of had this idea it would happen but I am still disappointed! I just have a hard time with this because I was trying to do something special for us. Something we did in the past, something we both talk about doing. It wasn't only just a "sister fun" weekend but something to help us with the one thing we struggle with EVERYDAY together ... our weight.
Sigh ... Another time, another place!!!
Posted by Becca at 1:02 PM 0 comments
Challenges??
Some may run from challenges but not me. Call me silly, call me crazy but I am going to jump in with both feet starting two challenges today. Okay so one really doesn't start until next Monday but I am doing the sneak preview since the last week, I will be enjoying my anniversary (hopefully be able to wear something sexy).
Challenge #1- Lose 3lbs between now and V-day. Sounds easy right? Well I lose at a slow rate and I don't want fail another challenge so I am going to be setting the bar at that. We have 6 weeks and at least one or two weeks in there we will have TOM to deal with and I want to achieve my goal.
Challenge #2-Its mainly cardio but its here to Blast the FAT!!!! God only knows that I have enough fat to lose!!! Also, along with this will be training myself for eating HEALTHY and ST. This is the part that I am MOST excited about.
So with all of that .... lets just say "LETS DO IT!!!!"
Posted by Becca at 6:11 AM 0 comments
1.06.2008
Measurements? Pictures??
Measurements? Pictures?? This was my day today!! I had to take some pictures and measurements today for my PnP challenge. On top of that today, I took some bikini pictures! Those bikinis pictures really did scare me. I was humiliated to know what I asked my husband to do to take those pictures. (I know he loves me no matter what) but I was really upset. I want to be a hot little wife that he can wrap one arm around and it drape on.
I just kept looking on the pictures over and over and I just didn't realize that it was me. I didn't want to see it and realize that it was me. I wanted it to be someone else. How did this happen? Why did I let myself go so far? I was really upset!!!
Out of being upset, I did allow myself to eat one 1/2 of a Baby Ruth. Then I stopped and asked myself, why am I doing this? Am I enjoying this? Is this going to make me PnP? Is this seriously going to make the fat melt away? No its not!!! I am not going to let the FGT keep control of my life anymore!!!!! Brushed the FGT off my shoulder and moved on.
I got in some Taebo today. Man, it definitely kicked my butt!!! I am glad that I did it. My wonderful DH is going to be doing it with me. I am really excited over this thought. I hope that he continues to do it with me!
I know that I can do this. I know I can. I have the determination to do it and I had the wake up call of the lifetime! No more excuses!!! No more FGT. I realize that there will come good days, bad days but I will ALLOW the FGT to keep control of my life. I am the one in control!
Posted by Becca at 5:05 PM 0 comments
1.05.2008
Small town, crappy gym ....
I got so disappointed today!! I was super excited before about the local gym thinking that it was going to be a great thing for me. It’s a local gym (no chain) I live here in a small town (population 2200). I have been sick but today I was feeling better so time to go sign myself up (one of my things to do this weekend) and get to working out even if it was just a little cardio.
The worst part of my day and what made me the most upset was that he was talking all about him and how great he was and not giving Corinne any credit. I can look and see the proof in the pudding of how great she is and her workouts.
Back to square one, I am looking at getting at home treadmills AGAIN! J But I am not letting this get me down. I might have to work around cardio for a few days, weeks but I am going to do this and then he will see me Phit in town and be like “damm … I wish I would know what she did and I will never tell him” :)
Posted by Becca at 5:43 PM 1 comments
1.04.2008
No more excuse plan ..
I am the queen of making excuses of why I didnt eat good or why I didn't workout. I am tried of being this person. I want to be the person who accomplishes what she said she was going to do. This is what I want OVERALL in my life. So for 2008 and onward, I have made myself the promise of not making excuses.
I am going to be going to the gym today to join up a membership here locally. I want to be able to commit to going to the gym. For awhile there I kept saying I would do everything here at home but I am NOT doing it so I am going to go to the gym here in town so that I can get home (since I drive to and forth from work 1hr each way) at a reasonable time.
I am signing myself up for some upcoming challenges to keep me focused especially for the first couple weeks into the new year.I have a planned a DOR on Sundays so that I can focus on the upcoming week.
Honestly anyone that is in my shoes of being overweight, we are the only one that control anything that goes on in our life. No one else can make us go to the gym, make us NOT want to eat that candy bar, or anything else. We need to focus and commit ourselves EVERYDAY to waiting to help ourselves! It may sound selfish but you got one chance at life!!!! Why not make it a healthy one? This came up because I do not want another year of looking back on my life and saying "If I did this or If I did that ...." especially about my life, my health, my weight ... NO MORE EXCUSES! Is that candy bar worth years of being unhappy about my weight? I dont think so. I had to make the decision in my own head. Now, what about you? What are you going to do with your life and your decisions? Remember life happens ... we will have dinners, we will have family events, we will not be perfect 100% but its the part of us that we need to get up, dust the dirt off our butts and get back on the wagon. Don't allow one dinner, one week, one vacation to keep you off track for the rest of our life!
Posted by Becca at 11:06 AM 0 comments
1.02.2008
Did I hear another New Year Resolution?
Had to put my two cents about some new resolutions! I got this from hungry-girl this morning in my email box and I dont know how many people look at other stuff but I thought some of this information may be helpful for you! :) Its nothing new or anything that you haven't already heard but I thought maybe while everyone is still fresh in their minds about "new year resolution" that this could be helpful to them! ;) For me, I have to word it in my own head that it needed to be my "lifetime resolution". Or I was afraid that I wouldnt be commited as well in March or April cause heck its not the beginning of a new year then :)
1. Don't go "on a diet". While diet plans can be helpful, if you think of yourself as being "on a diet", everything will be too black and white. If you're on a diet and suddenly you have a little setback, you may decide you're "off your diet" and go back to your old ways. Think of your new eating plan as more of a lifestyle change -- one that will have ups and downs, with good days and bad.
2. Don't deprive yourself. Remember, your new eating plan shouldn't be about dep rivation. It should be about SATISFACTION. Find foods you LOVE -- ones that satisfy you but are better choices. This is KEY.
3. Drink lots of water. Water is good for you. It's good for your skin and your metabolism. And it helps fill you up. Plus, not enough water can make you cranky and more likely to make bad food choices.
4. Listen to your body. It knows things. If you know that eating cereal for breakfast makes you hungrier throughout the day, then don't eat cereal in the morning. Pay close attention to your body cues. This will help tremendously.
5. Live one day (or even one MEAL) at a time. Don't be discouraged and beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon and eat badly -- just be more aware of what you eat during your next meal.
6. Get exercise with activities you enjoy. I used to HATE exercising. I feared it. Now I exercise but only do what I like (which happens to b e walking on a treadmill 5 times a week while watching reality TV, and weight training 2 times a week with a friend). Find something you actually like to do, and you'll do it. Don't take on an exercise routine that causes pain or discomfort -- you'll just end up ditching it completely. (And I know this isn't an EATING tip, but it's important!)
7. Let yourself cheat a little. Everyone strays once in a while. It's totally normal. Splurge when you need to, and enjoy it (don't feel guilty)! Then get RIGHT back on track, and prove to yourself that you can handle a cheat meal now and then.
8. Keep track of what you eat. Write it down. As dorky as it sounds, you WILL 100% without a doubt do better if you hold yourself accountable for what you eat by keeping a food journal. Just do it -- even if you only write in it every OTHER day.
Good luck -- and have fun!
Posted by Becca at 10:38 AM 1 comments
1.01.2008
2008 BRING IT ON!!!!!!
I have to say this ... BRING IT ON NEW YEAR! I AINT SCARED OF YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am feeling so much more confident this year than in years past! I am not starting off with a new year resolution! I am still working on my life's resolution. HECK YA! I am done for the most part of the year end work at my job now that I have worked nonstop on it. So bring it on! I got some healthy choices of food at home, my schedule printed out, working on my exercise and going to do great!!! If you don't believe me, check back with me in when I have a smoking HOT bod in a few months! I have more knowledge than I know what to do with so I am ready!!!!! I am really excited because I think that I have had a great deal of time to learn, slowly apply but now its time too kick it in high gear!!
Will be checking in ... if you dont hear from me ... kick my butt!!! :)
Love ya all! To a great NEW year!!!! :)
Posted by Becca at 12:08 AM 0 comments