Scratch out Bloomsday

I have had my heart on the table with the thought of me and my sister getting together for the Bloomsday run in May '08. I was just really looking forward to a "sister weekend". We haven't had this since well I was maybe 16 years and I thought it would be fun. Today I got the email from her saying she didn't think that she would be able to do Bloomsday because of money & etc. She said "Let's do it again some other time ..." Anyhow I kind of had this idea it would happen but I am still disappointed! I just have a hard time with this because I was trying to do something special for us. Something we did in the past, something we both talk about doing. It wasn't only just a "sister fun" weekend but something to help us with the one thing we struggle with EVERYDAY together ... our weight.
Sigh ... Another time, another place!!!

Challenges??

Some may run from challenges but not me. Call me silly, call me crazy but I am going to jump in with both feet starting two challenges today. Okay so one really doesn't start until next Monday but I am doing the sneak preview since the last week, I will be enjoying my anniversary (hopefully be able to wear something sexy).

Challenge #1- Lose 3lbs between now and V-day. Sounds easy right? Well I lose at a slow rate and I don't want fail another challenge so I am going to be setting the bar at that. We have 6 weeks and at least one or two weeks in there we will have TOM to deal with and I want to achieve my goal.

Challenge #2-Its mainly cardio but its here to Blast the FAT!!!! God only knows that I have enough fat to lose!!! Also, along with this will be training myself for eating HEALTHY and ST. This is the part that I am MOST excited about.

So with all of that .... lets just say "LETS DO IT!!!!"

Measurements? Pictures??

Measurements? Pictures?? This was my day today!! I had to take some pictures and measurements today for my PnP challenge. On top of that today, I took some bikini pictures! Those bikinis pictures really did scare me. I was humiliated to know what I asked my husband to do to take those pictures. (I know he loves me no matter what) but I was really upset. I want to be a hot little wife that he can wrap one arm around and it drape on.
I just kept looking on the pictures over and over and I just didn't realize that it was me. I didn't want to see it and realize that it was me. I wanted it to be someone else. How did this happen? Why did I let myself go so far? I was really upset!!!
Out of being upset, I did allow myself to eat one 1/2 of a Baby Ruth. Then I stopped and asked myself, why am I doing this? Am I enjoying this? Is this going to make me PnP? Is this seriously going to make the fat melt away? No its not!!! I am not going to let the FGT keep control of my life anymore!!!!! Brushed the FGT off my shoulder and moved on.
I got in some Taebo today. Man, it definitely kicked my butt!!! I am glad that I did it. My wonderful DH is going to be doing it with me. I am really excited over this thought. I hope that he continues to do it with me!

I know that I can do this. I know I can. I have the determination to do it and I had the wake up call of the lifetime! No more excuses!!! No more FGT. I realize that there will come good days, bad days but I will ALLOW the FGT to keep control of my life. I am the one in control!

Small town, crappy gym ....

I got so disappointed today!! I was super excited before about the local gym thinking that it was going to be a great thing for me. It’s a local gym (no chain) I live here in a small town (population 2200). I have been sick but today I was feeling better so time to go sign myself up (one of my things to do this weekend) and get to working out even if it was just a little cardio.

I get up shower, get dress (phew … I almost had no energy) go there sign up; give them a check for the whole YEAR. When I first come up there, he was trying to get me to jump into his whole thing about his program, his nutritional program (approved by two doctors now) and his workout. I said “Thanks for the generous offer but I think for now I am going to just work with the information that I have from a friend (that’s right Corinne, you are a friend of mine) who is a personal trainer and she has set me up with a workout. He asked if he could look at it. I said “sure”. He did and he told me that I had to be fooling myself that I need to quit playing with the big kids and I need to focus on fat loss before I start using the big toys (weights).

After the whole two piece of paperwork that I had signed. I jumped on the treadmill knowing that it doesn’t have a lot of bells and whistles but that’s fine. Get on there, start it up on there 20 minutes, starts making some horrible grinding noise (and in my head I am thinking … am I too fat for this machine). I look at the treadmill next to it and it has this fat piece of duct tape that says “NO RUNNING” my heart drops. WHAT!!! I look around to this other machine that looks like a treadmill and sure enough is but MANUAL … I mean even Corinne doesn’t hate me that much. J I am still on the search, look at the bikes hop on one … they are like the old fan ones from the 50’s or something. No real way to know how fast or anything. Sigh!!!!! I go home completed disappointed. Feeling like I wasted my money and I wont be able to utilize the gym for my fitness needs. I went home to think about it for awhile, what to do. I am a person who is nice (most of the time) and never want to make people feel bad but come on. I go back up there to talk to him. I told him and his wife that I just don’t know if their gym was a good fit for me and etc. Standing there talking to him for about 20 minutes, I got my $$ back. As we stood there talking he kept telling me when I want to get serious about my weight loss and fitness to come and talk to him. Read his book, have him train me and I won’t be disappointed. I have been a bodybuilder, trained 100’s over the US, blah, blah, blah. If I am looking to run, then you need to train outside and run. No gym equipment can train me for that. If I want to box, then I need to jump in the pin and box. I was just thinking: “Ok Mr. BodyBuilder I have a big ego cause look at my medals and I have written three books”!

The worst part of my day and what made me the most upset was that he was talking all about him and how great he was and not giving Corinne any credit. I can look and see the proof in the pudding of how great she is and her workouts.

Back to square one, I am looking at getting at home treadmills AGAIN! J But I am not letting this get me down. I might have to work around cardio for a few days, weeks but I am going to do this and then he will see me Phit in town and be like “damm … I wish I would know what she did and I will never tell him” :)

I just know that sometimes some people can be too full of themselves and it shows in his gym equipment and everything. But I will not let this get me down. It’s a great learning lesson. So next …………..

No more excuse plan ..

I am the queen of making excuses of why I didnt eat good or why I didn't workout. I am tried of being this person. I want to be the person who accomplishes what she said she was going to do. This is what I want OVERALL in my life. So for 2008 and onward, I have made myself the promise of not making excuses.

I am going to be going to the gym today to join up a membership here locally. I want to be able to commit to going to the gym. For awhile there I kept saying I would do everything here at home but I am NOT doing it so I am going to go to the gym here in town so that I can get home (since I drive to and forth from work 1hr each way) at a reasonable time.

I am signing myself up for some upcoming challenges to keep me focused especially for the first couple weeks into the new year.I have a planned a DOR on Sundays so that I can focus on the upcoming week.

Honestly anyone that is in my shoes of being overweight, we are the only one that control anything that goes on in our life. No one else can make us go to the gym, make us NOT want to eat that candy bar, or anything else. We need to focus and commit ourselves EVERYDAY to waiting to help ourselves! It may sound selfish but you got one chance at life!!!! Why not make it a healthy one? This came up because I do not want another year of looking back on my life and saying "If I did this or If I did that ...." especially about my life, my health, my weight ... NO MORE EXCUSES! Is that candy bar worth years of being unhappy about my weight? I dont think so. I had to make the decision in my own head. Now, what about you? What are you going to do with your life and your decisions? Remember life happens ... we will have dinners, we will have family events, we will not be perfect 100% but its the part of us that we need to get up, dust the dirt off our butts and get back on the wagon. Don't allow one dinner, one week, one vacation to keep you off track for the rest of our life!

Did I hear another New Year Resolution?

Had to put my two cents about some new resolutions! I got this from hungry-girl this morning in my email box and I dont know how many people look at other stuff but I thought some of this information may be helpful for you! :) Its nothing new or anything that you haven't already heard but I thought maybe while everyone is still fresh in their minds about "new year resolution" that this could be helpful to them! ;) For me, I have to word it in my own head that it needed to be my "lifetime resolution". Or I was afraid that I wouldnt be commited as well in March or April cause heck its not the beginning of a new year then :)

1. Don't go "on a diet". While diet plans can be helpful, if you think of yourself as being "on a diet", everything will be too black and white. If you're on a diet and suddenly you have a little setback, you may decide you're "off your diet" and go back to your old ways. Think of your new eating plan as more of a lifestyle change -- one that will have ups and downs, with good days and bad.
2. Don't deprive yourself. Remember, your new eating plan shouldn't be about dep rivation. It should be about SATISFACTION. Find foods you LOVE -- ones that satisfy you but are better choices. This is KEY.
3. Drink lots of water. Water is good for you. It's good for your skin and your metabolism. And it helps fill you up. Plus, not enough water can make you cranky and more likely to make bad food choices.
4. Listen to your body. It knows things. If you know that eating cereal for breakfast makes you hungrier throughout the day, then don't eat cereal in the morning. Pay close attention to your body cues. This will help tremendously.
5. Live one day (or even one MEAL) at a time. Don't be discouraged and beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon and eat badly -- just be more aware of what you eat during your next meal.
6. Get exercise with activities you enjoy. I used to HATE exercising. I feared it. Now I exercise but only do what I like (which happens to b e walking on a treadmill 5 times a week while watching reality TV, and weight training 2 times a week with a friend). Find something you actually like to do, and you'll do it. Don't take on an exercise routine that causes pain or discomfort -- you'll just end up ditching it completely. (And I know this isn't an EATING tip, but it's important!)
7. Let yourself cheat a little. Everyone strays once in a while. It's totally normal. Splurge when you need to, and enjoy it (don't feel guilty)! Then get RIGHT back on track, and prove to yourself that you can handle a cheat meal now and then.
8. Keep track of what you eat. Write it down. As dorky as it sounds, you WILL 100% without a doubt do better if you hold yourself accountable for what you eat by keeping a food journal. Just do it -- even if you only write in it every OTHER day.
Good luck -- and have fun!

2008 BRING IT ON!!!!!!

I have to say this ... BRING IT ON NEW YEAR! I AINT SCARED OF YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am feeling so much more confident this year than in years past! I am not starting off with a new year resolution! I am still working on my life's resolution. HECK YA! I am done for the most part of the year end work at my job now that I have worked nonstop on it. So bring it on! I got some healthy choices of food at home, my schedule printed out, working on my exercise and going to do great!!! If you don't believe me, check back with me in when I have a smoking HOT bod in a few months! I have more knowledge than I know what to do with so I am ready!!!!! I am really excited because I think that I have had a great deal of time to learn, slowly apply but now its time too kick it in high gear!!

Will be checking in ... if you dont hear from me ... kick my butt!!! :)

Love ya all! To a great NEW year!!!! :)