my walk through life ..

My New Webpage

2008-09-27T22:27:00.000-07:00

With the help of my sweetest husband ---- we were able to get my old page back up and running again. If you would like to continue to keep up with me in my world, please visit my webpage at:

http://www.rebeccascotto.com

Please be sure to bookmark this for the future.

Love you all!

The Biggest Loser!

2008-09-16T22:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight watching this and watching children follow the examples of their parents unhealthy eating makes me so sad. I started to cry because this is one of my BIGGEST fears as a person who wants start a family and to have it be a healthy one. Do you want to have your children follow your example and have the same issues that you have had to deal with? Do you want to have medical issues? Do you want to have yourself, your loved ones, your family and friends to be worried about your health and life because you choice to live an unhealthy lifestyle? To enjoy that bucket of chicken or to enjoy your favorite TV show instead of getting your exercise in or preparing your meals for the next day.

I am determined to change my life NOW. I am more determined now than I was before. I told myself that the next thing you know that I am going to be “crying or cursing Corinne’s name out loud during my workouts because I am going to make all my workouts be my LAST CHANCE workout! Remembering that 80% of losing weight is what goes in my mouth!

This biggest loser and the return of the girls from Phat Camp came just in time for me to get motivated! ☺ I have been in a flunk for a while, I don’t have a good reason, and I just have been. I am ready to change that for me, my future! I may not like all parts of the journey but I am READY to do it.

So what are you going to do? How much do you appreciate life? How much do you want to ENJOY life instead of living life? I am ready to do it. I am ready to make the changes; I am willing to sacrifice things that I enjoy sticking in my mouth to be able to enjoy my life to the FULLEST!

The things I enjoy the most about biggest loser is the “hard love”. I enjoy the hard-core part of it! I want a trainer to yell at me!!! Corinne, will you please yell at me when you see things in my diet or my exercises that could be better than they are? PLEASE!

New goal for the Biggest Loser Season! During each episode, I am vowing to do 20 pushups or sit-ups or pullins or popsquats during EACH commercial break! Am I insane? YES! Can I do it? If I put my mind to it, YES I CAN! Why do I want to do it? Cause I am a crazy :) :) Is there anyone with me on this? I got Vincent’s commitment to do 5 situps.

DON’T QUIT UNLESS YOU ARE PUKING OR DEAD! That’s my motto for this season.

A Great Workout!

2008-09-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

I went to the gym right after I got excused from Jury Duty so that I had NO excuse not to go there. :) I had a GREAT leg day! I was pushing it like there was no tomorrow. I was DRIPPING sweat like a man, I was a sweaty little pig. I was so happy and pleased with myself. :) I set up my little area and had to walk to a machine, when I came back some guy was looking at my area and another guy said "I wouldn't mess with her stuff .. she is a tiger" Haha! I smiled at him .. I said "thanks". He said "well you are one girl that doesn't smile a lot during her workouts but makes a lot of mean faces and looks dead serious ....." I said "Yah, I am here to workout not to make friends during my workouts .." :) Then I went on with my workout!

I love walking away from the gym feeling like I gave it my all and I worked out like a manic. :) I JUST love it!

And I did it!!! My plan for the week! TO KEEP IT UP! I love it when I get in a mode like this ... its like "watch out boys and girls ......" Do you see this picture in the blog? I want to be like her!!! I wanna look HOT when I am a sweaty mess!!!

SO PROUD ...

2008-09-14T19:54:00.000-07:00

Today -- my day went GREAT. I have a little NSV for myself today. I went to starbucks to get a cup of ice and I was able to walk in and ask for this and NOT get a coffee even though I wanted to SO bad. :)

I went to the gym, I did my UB workout --- blasted through 306caloies in 30 mins so I was happy about that. Tonight, I went on my walk/run with Vincent -- I burned up 276 calories in 30 mins and 2 miles. So a total of 582 calorie burn for the day! I am so proud of Vincent as well. He REALLY pushed himself and did a couple of lags of running with me. :) Woohoo! Maybe he will become a running buddy with me. **CROSSING MY FINGERS** Our next date for walking/ running is Wednesday night.

Here is my menu for the day. I am feeling GREAT about my food, my exercise today. I feel like I am in CONTROL of my day and I love that feeling.

Tomorrow, I found out that I have Jury Duty. Ugh! I was so hoping that I wouldn't get called in during my period of time on the list. My plan for tomorrow: FC in the morning with my run- 3miles, then I will get ready and go to Jury Duty. I am going to pack my lunch though I am not sure what it will be like since I dont know what it is like to do Jury Duty. I am packing some grapes, almonds and things in my purse so I will be able to eat my snacks throughout the day. I am planning on going and doing my leg workout tomorrow on the way home. :)

This is my day and my planned out day for tomorrow. :)

Yes, Indeed I am a runner ..

2008-09-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

When you are running, is it that you are running to something or toward something? Today was my first time in a LONG, LONG time that I was able to run 3/4 at a full time. So my question I was asking myself was are you running to something or toward something. In my mind, if you are RUNNING TO something -- its like you are running as fast as you can to be able to get there. Like a relay or something. But if you running toward something -- you have something in mind, you have a place to go or finish and you kept running toward it and it doesn't mean how long it takes as long as you get there. Right?

I am so proud of myself today. Today, I made a BREAK through in my own fitness world. Here is a summary of my run today, first 1/8th of the mile I walked, then I ran at my snail pace but I said that its more important to get to the trail head which was 3/4 of a mile ahead of me than breaking a world record ... I RAN THE WHOLE 3/4 of a mile .... walked 1/8 of a mile, ran 1/8 of mile like that the whole 1 mile, then I ran back 3/4 mile. This is all I could do today, I AM VERY low on energy due to this tummy virus but I did it. So today I proved to myself that I am able to run at least 1.5 mile though I have to take turns .... Phew! I am so proud of myself.

I am a fake runner ...

2008-09-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to go on my walk/ run. At some point and time when I was on this walk ... I just started to cry. I felt like I was a "loser" in the running world, like I am just a big fake when it comes to calling myself a runner. I can't run more than a couple of minutes without having to take a break, sometimes a long walking break before I can start running again. I am just feel like I am a not REALLY a runner but I just a faux runner. Sigh! Will I ever be able to run? Some people say that its more of a mental thing but how do I just break free of that? I dont know why I can't break free from it. Why was I crying over running? Maybe I was just being emotional but I am just having a hard time -- I keep asking myself why I even thought for a second that I could run the Phoenix 1/2 Marathon.

I just dont know what to do besides keep practicing, practicing ---- But I still keep asking myself if I will be able to be a runner some day? Will I ever be able to run a constant mile? Why can't I do it?

Oh ..... Mackafe has come back ...

2008-09-07T09:38:00.001-07:00

Today, I woke up to my macbook waiting me to turn it on, drink a cup of coffee with my macbook in my laptop --- I am feeling like today is a GREAT day.

We have figured out how to convert my email from windows to mac, now I am trying to get my blackberry to sync up and then I will copy over my pictures, my music and I will be pretty much be set on my new mac. I think we are going to name the new mac "minni mac or should it be mimi me ..".... Am I crazy? Oh I am sure that people could say that I am and pretty much I am.

Now, my dream for my "Mac Kafe" will live again at least in the Scotto household. I am still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up (will I ever really grow up though?) I love to exercise but do I want to be a personal trainer? I love, absolutely LOVE to take pictures but do I want to be a photographer (childhood dream that never goes away)? Do I invest in a business loan and plan and make my dream of a "mac kafe" (Though I love this idea, would it be reasonable in my town since we have Black Bear Coffee who has pretty much stolen my idea). Most of all, I would love to be a mother, a great wife, a woman who everyone feels that they can love, be around and be a good person.

do you see the apple in my eye .....

2008-09-06T19:37:00.001-07:00

Today, my wonderful hubby bought me a MACBOOK pro. Oh, how I do love macs. I wasn't expecting it at all today either. Don't get me wrong, I would take it and be happy but I went to get him something and we ended up getting me a macbook. You see when we first got married, he had boughten a mac laptop that I pretty much took over, I fell in love with it .. One morning, I woke up to seeing some of the pixels dead in it .... What a sad day. So we bought me an iMac, I had this for awhile but I got frustrated with the lack of software that I could get with it. I converted to PC ... ever since that day, I have never REALLY been happy with any of my computers, I have always longed to have a mac again ..... Even when I got my more recent laptop, I would have been happier getting a mac .... So today my world is a little more complete with a new MACBOOK pro sitting on my lap as I type this out. I feel like a gitty little school girl or maybe it is more of a spoiled girl cause I got what I REALLY would love to have but one thing is for sure .. I AM VERY happy with it. Now, I am going to give my newer but "old" laptop to my hubby.

Pictures of my actual laptop will follow this post but its time for a girl to backup her old computer and get her new computer READY for the world. :) Can you tell that I am excited? Oh boy, oh boy .. I am giddy!

Thanks again sweetie. I LOVE YOU TOO PIECES!

Another thought about pregnancies and babies ......

2008-09-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

Why are they all around me? Every time I turn around there is another person who I find out who is having a baby. I keep thinking WHAT ABOUT ME? What about us? Why do some people just have to look at someone and practically get pregnant and enjoy a full term pregnancy? Granted, we have to get a few things in life in order before then but makes me then think about our little peanut. Sigh! Why did we have to loose our little peanut? We would be in our last trimester and we would REALLY be enjoying having this little wee one and etc ......... But instead its just sorrow that builds up in my heart when I think about it. Does the pain ever really go away? Do you ever forget about it? Do you ever really feel whole again?

I hope that someday that I will have a wee little one and we will be able to love them and enjoy them. I can't wait to hear the words ..... Daaadddddyyyy ..... as they come running to him as he gets home from work (yes baby you will probably end up back in the office when our kids grow older and they can talk to you 24/7 ... how will you be able to work with me and the baby and our constant chatter?)

Some day, I just hope that we will be able to enjoy the life of being parents. Not to sound better than we are or anything but I think Vincent and I are going to make awesome parents. Why? Cause we are both fun, loving and we are good people. We will give the shirt off our back to make the next person feel warm. I just think that we will be good parents and I can't wait to see what our life will make ..... I can't wait too be able to look in the back of our car and see a little car seat as we are on our way to go and get groceries, meet daddy for lunch, go to the gym (yes this will still happen). I just can't wait for all the things that people get to experience being parents. I think its going to be great (and yes, I know that there is heartache with having children ... I am not that dumb)... I can't wait for our turn.

A lot of things go through this mind of mine ...... And honestly, sometimes I just get overwhelmed.

Snowball of life ....

2008-09-04T22:26:00.000-07:00

It seems like lately every time Vincent and I turn around there is someone else telling us about some sort of bad news. Why? What is going on in this world? I mean seriously we are just trying to live our life .... taking things one day at a time but this year has not been a good year for Vincent and I when it comes to "good things" happening around us. Don't get me wrong .... we have had good things happen as well but we have also had a lot of crap to deal with this year. Things that REALLY effect us of individuals on our own lives. What is going on?

Sometimes, I just feel like since my grampa died there is this snowball effect and we are just just rolling down a hill and hitting a little bit of bad news here and there and making the snowball never melt or get small enough to get out of. Sigh!!! It just seems like we have had my grampas death, our miscarriage, friends getting cancer, uncle bob's wife of 29 years left him, friends going off the deep end and losing their heads ...... whatever else that I am trying to repress so I dont have to think about ....

Some days, I just want to go to the moon so that no one can call me, write me, or anything to tell me about something else. I guess I worry about the next call or something will be about Vincent's health (if I lost him, I would absoutely die) or worse yet one of our parents.

Here is to hoping that things will calm down, we will get a breather and life will start settling down again! How do I get out of this snowball of life?

40lbs in 12 months ....

2008-09-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

Cris and I were talking on the boat one day and we both want to lose close to 40lbs before going to Peru or at least, be in the fittest shape we can before going. We don't want to get winded when we are out walking around or whatever! So today starts our goal of 40lbs in 12 months. This is COMPLETELY reasonable and we can do it. We both didn't want to make a goal where it would seem impossible to achieve so we made it VERY attainable. All we have to do is to obtain this goal is: lose 3.33lbs per month.

We have 14 months until the trip but we have to make sure we have clothes and outfits for the trip. :)

Here's too us Cris! We will be looking back in a year from now and be look at how far we have come!

What this means for me? I will be at my goal weight when I go. I want to be at my goal weight before I hit the borders of Peru! ;) I think that just having this goal seems easier for me to achieve as its 12 months and I am going to be doing it with a friend. :)

Love ya Cris!

Camping at Billy Chinook

2008-08-31T17:20:00.000-07:00

WOW! All I have to say --- Why have I never been here before? It was gorgeous weather, beautiful lake! The pictures can't even do justice to the great beauty there. I just absolutely love it there and plan on making this a yearly tradition.

Saturday -- we left to get down there. The drive down was beautiful and gorgeous. Always have a great time being in the car with Vincent. ;) We sing, we laugh .... good times always with the two of us together.

Sunday- We rented a patio boat. This started out a lot of fun. I tubed behind it, we saw a beautiful waterfall where swimming was there -- lots of fun. Toward the end of the day, we had a scare when the boat was filling up with water, getting lower in the water than it should. For awhile there, I was a little nervous but I knew Captain Jim had it taken care of and we would be oka. Finally got back to the marina and on save ground! Phew!

Monday- We lounged this day. Not a lot of us where really up too much after the scare, I think a lot of us were just overtired. Vincent and I played cards, we drove around to be able to take some pictures and had a relaxing camping day.

Tuesday- Back at the water for some more fun. I went tubing a couple of times behind Clyde's boat. This was a lot of fun --- a lot of giggling and a lot of fun. ;) This experience of course made it where Vincent and I were like "we want a boat" but we did just have a lot of fun together.

Wednesday- Tuesday nights wind gusts were so loud that not a lot of us slept very good, we had originally thought we would rent another patio boat but we decided not too. This was another day of resting, lounging around the campsite. Thomas and a few people decided to go diving and found a few treasures but other than that not too much excitment happened.

Thursday- We both were sick this day; Vincent and I got some nasty colds so we laid around the campground, read, played cards together. Sat in the sun. This was nice day for us to relax and recoup.

Friday- Steve joined us back down at the campground, we rented another patio boat and played in the water all day. We went to one end of the river/ lake and the fish there were jumping out of the water like popcorn. It was amazing. I have never seen the fish do this before. It was pretty cool; again another relaxing day of trolling on the water, enjoying each others company together.

Saturday- Packing up to leave! Boo! I looked forward to seeing our pups cause I missed them so much but I was sad to see us say good bye to the camping experience and parting with friends. It was a lot of fun together so I guess I just didn't want it to end yet .......

Every night when we were there, we made fresh ice cream. Who would have thought when you are camping you could make fresh ice cream. It is this "ice cream ball" and you shake it around for 30 mins. Its was pretty cool experience. Though it does not yield much per serving, we were able to each have a couple of bites of homemade ice cream. :) Only one night the smores' got taken out and this was just because we had Mr. Thomas there and I had to be sure that he got his smores in as requested. :)

I got to just about 700 pictures so I need to resize them but until then you can enjoy a few of these. :) Love to all of ya!

NSV for myself ...

2008-08-17T20:58:00.000-07:00

I am down ONE POUND this week! How? I am not sure since the ice cream was screaming my name this week.

Also, I had a friend tell me today that it looks like I have lost quite a bit of weight and I am looking REALLY good. I said "Thank you" .... He said "You really are looking REALLY good. Keep it up" It made me feel GREAT cause I have been working hard and its nice to know that people are noticing. I have been working hard and I am glad that its start to show but in the same sense I am ashamed that I have let myself go so much!

I WILL KEEP WORKING HARD toward my goal! This weeks goal for exercise is to burn at least EVERY workout 500 calories and get in EVERY workout this week. This would make a complete burn of 3500 calories burned up this week. What are your goals?

Monday- FASTED CARDIO, followed by ST Arms in the afternoon

Tuesday- GYM -- This will be my heavy day for legs and cardio

Wednesday- FASTED CARDIO

Thursday- GYM- This will be my heavy arms and cardio

Friday- GYM- This will be my heavy day of legs and cardio

Saturday- FASTED CARDIO

Sunday- FASTED CARDIO but probably more of a leisure walk --- camping :)

Cheers to Corinne!

2008-08-17T20:47:00.000-07:00

I have to give a shout out to my trainer, Corinne. She has been working long hard 15 weeks on this competetion along with Lisa and Bill.
Corinne herself is just a HUGE inspiration to me. She lost over 110 pounds, has the best personality, has been a huge support, friend to me. I AM SO proud of all of her accomplishments including her starting PnP. Yesterday was their BIG DAY on their competetion .... All their hard work for a few moments of fame on the stage.

Guess what? SHE WON FIRST PLACE in the tall class! I AM so happy for her. She has definetely showed me and everyone else that if you dream it, you can achieve it. All you need to do is put it out there and work hard to get it!

WAY TO GO CORINNE! Thanks for allowing me to watch your journey as well be a part of your group of wonderful girls! Love ya girlie! You are the best!

There is an addict in the house ....

2008-08-16T19:16:00.001-07:00

I am an addict but its a good addiction. I just love the thought of crossing that finish line, it makes me feel like I am doing so much more for myself than just hitting the tready or hitting the pavement. Something about getting that bib number, the t-shirt made me feel like I was a "winner" even if I wasn't the ACTUAL winner. I was a winner because I set my eyes on something and I went and did it!
Here is what I have planned. I am looking for a good 5k, 10k before the winter hits --- I might be able to find one, I might not but I am on the SEARCH.

Goals for 2009:

Three 5k's (At least -- this will probably be in between each 1/2)
Phoenix 1/2 Marathon 1.18.09
Vernonia 1/2 Marathon (usually in April)
Seattle 1/2 Marathon 6.27.09
Whitefish 1/2 Marathon 9.20.09 (not an official date but approximated)
Vernonia 5k/10k (Usually in August) ! I would like to continue to support this race every year! I think this is just going to be my "thing" that I do.

I sure hope that I don't get on burnout mode but honestly, I dont see that happening. I REALLY enjoyed it and each time I do this, it gives me something to hold onto, something more to try for. If I have to cancel one of the 1/2 Marathons next year, it will be the Whitefish one but I hope to be able to do it. I think it would be crazy adventurous as its kind of trail running for the 1/2 of it. Kind of cool all together!

So do you think I can do it? If you are interested in being my running buddy, my cheerleader --- just let me know! I need all the support that I can get!

I plan on turning 28 next year in the BEST shape of my life! So who's with me? If you aren't with me, then are you against me? Sure hope not!

I did it ... My First 10k

2008-08-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

I finished my first 10k with my first Cris! I am so proud of us --- we mainly walked it but we did it. We did our FIRST 10k together! I am proud of us ..... I am proud of myself for going out there and doing it. I love being able to push myself or learn new things about fitness levels. :)

I am on for my next 5k, 10k or whatever it may be. :) Let's just RUNNNNN!

Here are a few pictures of the run with my friend, Cris! She rocked the whole way! Never stopped!

Floating Away .....

2008-08-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

Oh my! I am floating away! I think my body is going to start rejecting water ---- I should have started this gallon earlier in the day. I am trying to hydrate myself for the race tomorrow and its suppose to be HOT; not just warm but more like 104 out there! WHAT!

So I am trying to make sure that my muscles wont cramp up, that I wont get dehydrated so I am sucking down water starting at 2p getting a gallon in and I feel like I am floating away!

Wish me luck tomorrow! Run forest, run!

PS On another note about my problems or stresses in life, are they clearing up? Are they going away? NOPE .... Just one thing after another thing keep going on! UGH! Seriously people, you are going to make me go CRAZY or stick my head in the sand which will be pretty odd looking too.

It's Official ...I'm signed up

2008-08-14T14:59:00.000-07:00

I signed up for my FIRST 1/2 marathon that will be taking place down in Phoenix, Arizona. I am REALLY excited about but so nervous as well. First of all, I haven't ran any races at all. This year will be my first 10k but other than that I haven't been in a race ... I am hoping to catch another race before the end of the year. Like a 5k or something .... Just for giggles.

I don't think I would have ever had the thought cross my mind that I could actually Jog/ Run a 1/2 marathon until I met sweet Dawn on PnP. She made me realize that I could. So I jumped on the wagon when I realized that some of my fellower PnP'ers are going to be doing the Phoenix marathon. I am SO EXCITED to meet the ones that I haven't already met in person (Trish -- she has been a HUGE inspiration to me) and see maybe a few others that I have met like Paula but get to re-unite!

I feel like I have come to a point in my life that I can call myself an athlete and a runner! I have had to learn that my body transformation isn't going to happen every night but I am LEARNING each day more and more about myself, pushing myself to new levels and etc. Now let's get RUNNING!

Whats wrong with people ....

2008-08-13T15:09:00.000-07:00

I swear that I am surrounded by people who are losing their minds! What is wrong with people ... do people just not stop and think about anything anymore? Do they only care so much about themselves that they can't see how they live their lives hurts others? Is there something in the water? If so, LET ME NOT DRINK IT!

I find out with the last 24 hours that my childhood best friend (I dont know what we are anymore), had a brain tumor, went and had surgery. Did she call me or call her family? NO! We finally find out and her sister and mom are on their way to go and see her. Is she freakin' crazy? YES! Who doesn't call their family about something like that? Oh wait --- cause you have to cover up a lie.

This morning, we find out that Vincent's Aunt Kay left Uncle Bob. How could this have happened when we live a block and half away from each other? Do you just walk away from a 29 year marriage and be oka with that when 5 years ago when he almost died you had a nervous breakdown? What is up with her!!! OMG!

I swear everytime I turn around to talk to someone that something is going on. People are going completely CRAZY! I am ready to go and sell every item we have, go built a hut in the middle of nowhere and STAY to ourselves. Why? Cause people are going CRAZY! And if its not the people going crazy, its me going crazy cause they are driving me CRAZY!

New Challenge, New Team ...

2008-08-11T07:08:00.000-07:00

Today, we start our new challenge with our new teams at PnP! I am so EXCITED about our new team. I know we are going to do GREAT. We are trying to come up with a name and one of our team members said "Skull Crushers" though I love it --- I dont know if its 100% appropriate so I am not sure --- But it sounds so TOUGH and MEAN and I love it ---

Again I am really excited about starting this new challenge. In 8 weeks, 8 pounds .... whats not to love about it!? Right? :)

I started to think about a few things that is so GREAT about this challenge --- #1 for me is losing the weight. I really need to get off some extra pounds so the 8lbs in 8 weeks is GREAT. I have a few things coming up this fall that I would love to be able to lose some extra weight for --- one thing is my old company always has this fall bash party. I always use to have to go but this time --- I will be a guest. ONLY reason I want to go is that I haven't seen the majority of my co-workers since I left in May of this year and I would like to walk in looking 100% better than ever and have their jaws drop to the floor. Reasonable? Maybe not .. but a girl can dream, right? :)

My Sister .... My Friend

2008-08-10T18:58:00.000-07:00

I got a phone call from my sister on Thursday night saying that she needs to come and see me. She needs a hug from her lil sister! SHE DROVE ALL THE WAY HERE (she lives in Kalispell, MT and I live in Vernonia, OR) for a day with me ...... There is a lot to this story but the main thing is that is so important to me is that our relationship is on a HUGE mend. I love her so much --- She is a great sister and she is a wonderful friend! For awhile she had her own issues she was going through and sometimes she was NOT pleasant to be around but SHE has grown up, I have grown up and we are closer than ever. NO MATTER what we always come back around to each other --- we NEVER completely seperate from each other!

Here is a song that I dedicate to my sister --- I JUST LOVE IT. It fits me and her almost to a tee!

If you read this sis, I LOVE YOU! I will always LOVE YOU! Things are going to be oka. HANG IN THERE!!!!

Hey girl it's me i just called to tell you hi Call me when you get this Haven't talked lately so hard to find the time Give the boys a big kiss Tell them that I miss them By the way I miss you too I was thinking just today About how we used to play Barbie dolls and make-up Tea parties dress up I remember how we'd fight We made up and laughed all night Wish we were kids again My sister my friend Oh yeah before I forget I met someone I think I really like him I was wondering if I'm jumping the gun By going out on a limb And invite him home for Christmas To meet the family Seem like just yesterday You brought home old what's his name He had been drinking What were you thinking After dinner he passed out We can laugh about it now We've learned a lot since then My sister my friend Do you think you could come and see me sometime soon We could just hang out like we used to It's late and I should go But I can'y hang up the phone Until I tell you What I don't tell you enough Even though at times it seemed We were more like enemies I'd do it all again My sister my friend

We are going to Peru ...

2008-08-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

We just got a phone call saying that we found out that we are going to Lima, Peru in November 2009. How stinkin' exciting ..... Vincent and I were looking up pictures online and its gorgeous down there. I told him -- if that wont make us lose some weight. :)

So we are going to have to kick our butt into HIGH gear! We have 14 months until then so we best be looking good! :)

I can't wait to go down there --- learn about a new culture, enjoy our trip with some friends and have another experience to write about in our life journal.

Here are some facts about Peru if you dont know about it:

LIMA is a boisterous, macho city, relaxed and laid-back, yet having an underlying energy, with money and expensive cars ruling the roost – you can buy anything in Lima if you have the cash, particularly in Lima Centro, the colonial zone of the city. The city’s population has increased dramatically in the last thirty years, swollen with people arriving from the high Andes to make camp in the shanty towns that line the highways. The main plazas, once attractive meeting places, are now thick with pickpockets, exhaust fumes and, not infrequently, riot police. The climate in Lima seems to set the mood: in the height of summer (Dec–March) it buzzes with energy and excitement, though during the winter months (June–Sept) a low mist descends over the arid valley in which the city sits, forming a solid grey blanket from the beaches almost up to Chosica in the foothills of the Andes – a phenomenon undoubtedly made worse by traffic-related air pollution.

Lima is brimful of culture and heritage, though it’s not obvious at first. On a strictly guidebook level, there are the museums (the best of which are excellent and should definitely be visited before setting off for Machu Picchu or any of Peru’s other great Inca ruins), the Spanish churches in the centre, and some distinguished mansions in the wealthy suburbs of Barranco and Miraflores. But in their own way, too, there’s a powerful atmosphere in the pueblos jovenes, where Peru’s landless peasants have made their homes. In addition, Lima’s noisy, fast-moving frenetic craziness is mellowed by the presence of the sea and beaches. The mix of lifestyles and peoples is a fascinating world of its own: from the snappy, sassy, cocaine influenced criolla style – all big, fast American cars, cruising the broad main streets – to the easy-going, happy-go-lucky attitude that can seem a godsend when you’re trying to get through some bureaucratic hassle. And, as anyone who stays here more than a week or so finds, Limeño hospitality and kindness are almost boundless once you’ve established an initial rapport.

www.peru-travel-adventures.com/lima-peru.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lima

http://www.geographia.com/peru/lima/index.htm

http://www.geographia.com/peru/lima/usefulfacts.htm

http://www.geographia.com/peru/

Weather when we will be there:

Though it does not rain in this coastal arid region, Lima is plagued by a thick, gray fog called the garua that hangs constantly over the city from June through December of the year. This is a shame since without the ubiquitous fog, the city can have breathtaking views of the ocean. Even more ironically, right outside the city, the coastal weather is clearer and more temperate (this explains why the beaches around Lima are very popular among the locals).

http://www.peru-pictures.org/peru-pictures-lima-pictures/peru-pictures-lima-pictures.shtml

http://www.myphotographs.net/peru/peru.html

http://www.peru-pictures.org/peru-pictures-lima-pictures/peru-pictures-lima-pictures.shtml

Enjoy reading up on Lima, Peru! I will be sharing as we find more about our trip and where we will be staying etc! I can't believe it ---- we are going to PERU!

Cottage or blueberry .....

2008-08-06T13:21:00.000-07:00

Today I started in our painting our house! I am trying to do it in the mornings before it gets too warm outside. So here is a picture of me with my morning brew and painting away. HOpefully tomorrow, I will be better prepared and I will be able to get more done earlier in the day before the heat comes in. I believe I can get it completed this week (not including garage) but I think I can do that next week! Any way that I can make tan get darker for camping .........

I am REALLY thankful that my father in law extended his services. He came over to help me for a little bit this morning and plan is to come back tomorrow morning and help for awhile. THIS REALLY make a big difference. We got one side of the house done so by tomorrow we should have the other side done AND possibly the other side if I REALLY boogie! ;)

Here is dad and me --- my little painting buddy! :)

So far here are a few pictures of our progress. I JUST may go back out there in a bit and try to get some more done, I am not sure right now what I am going to do for the rest of the day.

Contrast from what it was BEFORE and what we are doing now. **The blue is the new**

The wall completed today besides the trim.

Do you think that the blue gives it a cottage feel? Or do you think it looks like a blueberry? Let me know what you think? YES I am thinking of keeping part of the color red in the windows for some sass! :)

If you have a lending hand, feel free and come pick up a paint brush and help out!

Baby Blues ...

2008-08-05T19:58:00.000-07:00

Wow .. I think I could have the having the baby blues. It seems like everyone around me before I got pregnant and since my miscarriage is having babies and having successful pregnancies. Don't get me wrong; I wouldn't wish anyone to have a miscarriage but WHY did I have too? I am constantly getting reminded somewhere; its like friends get pregnant, strangers get pregnant, emails come in our email box STILL that say you should be 1/2 way mark on your pregnancy, or we get an email today with this video for sale through Jen H. site for pregnancy and all I can think is that EVERYONE has babies or having them. But why not me?

I know that right now if I wanted too, I could have been trying to get pregnant again but honestly I wanted to get a little healthier because I didn't want to have this situation AGAIN in my life. HONESTLY, I just don't know if I could have handled another miscarriage and especially so soon!

So what is my plan? My plan is starting tonight AGAIN, I will start on my prenatal vitamins for at least 3 months before actively"try". I am going to start this challenge like there is NOTHING that is going to stop me and if I get pregnant in the 8 weeks of the challenge, I will think that its meant to be.

But REALLY how do I get over my blue blues? Sometimes its hard to put on a happy face when inside I keep saying "It should have been me ... or we would have been xx amount of weeks by now ..." Maybe its time to just focus on our life as we know it today and enjoy the time, the adventures we have had and when we get pregnant again PRAY that we will be able to hold onto that baby until we can hold that baby in our arms.

Portland Marthon ....

2008-08-04T16:46:00.000-07:00

I got an email from my friend, Carisa today and she asked if I was still thinking of the Portland Marathon. Sure I have thought about it but its 26 stinkin' miles! I mean seriously!!!!!! Thats from here to ..... Well the highway and longer. ;) And its OCTOBER 5th! YIKES!

She is planning on walking it and asked me if I wanted to join her still. I REALLY do but will I be READY for 26 miles of walking in ONE day? Will my feet be able to take it? Or will I fall over in the street? Or will I have 1000 blisters on my feet? Oh the things that will keep me up at night!

Oh the pondering things of my life ..... I need to make a decision though cause it fills up fast and I REALLY want to go --- I need to start walking my bootie!

So should I do it? Or should I wait until next year? What I am afraid of is that next year I will be pregnant or just had a baby (thats what I am hoping for anyhow) and wont be able to do it until 2010!

Goals Til Fall

2008-08-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

Where did the summer go? We didn't really have much of a summer here in Oregon. We had a couple of weeks of GREAT weather but now we don't have much summer and its cold (suppose to heat up but we will see).

I have been thinking of the things that I REALLY want to accomplish before winter REALLY sets in this year. These are my personal goals but hopefully the are the ones that help keep me on the straight and narrrow. Vincent and I have been thinking of trying for another baby. BEFORE I commit to that, I really want to be a little bit healthier place in our life. Vincent is working good toward losing his weight which I know helps in other areas but since I will be the main concern, the one that has to worry about my health and the baby's health of carrying it, I have decided to try to make these changes by November-ish:

Workout intensely for 6 days a week(4 ST, 2 cardio only days). I will have one week of taper week when we are camping but I will make it up by doing cardio ONLY.
EAT like an athlete because I am an athlete.
Prepare myself by taking the needed vitamins EVERYDAY.
Minimize the caffeine and diet soda - Drink 1 cup of coffee daily, drink water/ or Crystal Light instead of diet soda.
Work from the 170's to the 160's MAYBE even 150's.
Work into jeans that are a size 10 or 8'is in EVERY brand.

By doing these things, I will be better mentally and physically to try for another baby. I just want to be sure that I ALWAYS put my health and my future baby's health first. I think if I go ahead and I do this that I will be okay for whatever happens.

Wonderful Day ...

2008-08-02T23:11:00.000-07:00

Today, I spent the day with Vincent as we drove around pricing out flooring and figuring out what it is that we would like to have in our house. I am sure that we have an idea now ... now we just have to go and get it put together :)

After our adventure at Lowes, Home Depot, and Costco for flooring we went and had a yummy little dinner at Sushi Maki. This is our little place to spend some dinners together. Its become our little place. :) After this, we went and we saw the "THE DARK KNIGHT" movie (batman for all that dont know). It was a great movie ... I really ENJOYED it.

I have say something about Vincent. He is trying so hard to lose weight, to be good and healthy. I am REALLY proud of him. He is working so hard and it REALLY shows. I'm so happy and proud of him because I know that it is NOT easy to do. KEEP up the good work Vince! You will be happy that you did. Feeling healthy, skinny is so much better than the feeling of that ho-ho going in your mouth. :) I love you babe!

torn between to worlds....

2008-07-31T07:55:00.000-07:00

I have to say that I am really homesick for oregon and vincent but then ive been in montana and north idaho and I miss my life and friends here. I just feel so torn between the two places. Of course there are reasons that I don't or fear coming back to Idaho but I still miss it so much. The life here is so much the same in a way to vernonia but then again its so much different. I just really miss it but it will be good to see and be home again in Oregon. I hope that I can get to the point that I can come back more and more to see family and friends. :)
Well I'm here at Monrach coffee to meet my sweet friend, Deb. Man I love her and miss her. Maybe we will get another picture together.

Is this puppy love or what ....???

2008-07-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

Today Vincent and I just went into town for lunch, get a few things for our camping trip at the end of next month and we getting a few things done. :) I just love him so much ... have you just sometimes spent some time with someone that you love before and you just realize how much you are in love that person that you can't even express it in words! :)

Thats how I feel about Vincent. He is my world --- I love spending every second with him. I just love how we can spend time together doing the smallest things yet we are perfectly happy and content!

Here is a picture of us --- today we took it and I think we are so cute and I REALLY love this picture of us and I think its something that is so sweet!

I LOVE YOU VINCENT!!!!!

Tready The Treadmill

2008-07-19T14:56:00.000-07:00

Today we got delivered to us Tready the Treadmill. I am so excited about it ... Its going to be so nice to be able to have it here at home so there will be NO excuse not to work out and I am hoping that Vincent will able to use it as well.

I am SUPER excited about tready the treadmill. :) See ya every morning at 6am Tready! :)

Camp 18

2008-07-12T15:56:00.000-07:00

What is the best thing about Camp 18? I HAVE TO SAY the cinnamon rolls! But the best part is that Vincent and I had a little lunch date together. It was a lot of fun --- its probably like 30 mins from our house but its an old logging lodge but they have GREAT food, lots of it and the atmosphere itself is a lot of fun.

So today we went up there -- had a wonderful little lunch date together. We brought home just ONE of their cinnamon rolls for a treat later. OH HEAVEN! I just love these things! I think it is almost worth the drive to head back up there just to get another one.

I mean look at it -- its the size of his hand!

My sexy man ... I just love him to pieces! **KISS**

Visit with my Mom ..

2008-07-10T12:37:00.000-07:00

I had my mom come and stay down here for a couple days -- Just about it a week. There were good times, bad times but overall I guess I can say it was a good day. I have come to realize that we are not alike in a lot of ways but that is oka. Thats what is so GREAT about being who we are is that we have our own personalities.

We got to go to the ocean and enjoy a day at the beach. I have to say this was a GREAT day for both us. My mom hasn't been able to visit the beach in a long time but she REALLY seemed to enjoy it. I am so happy that we got to go ---
I miss my mom in so many levels. I guess a part of me is the kid who misses the times we had as child/ mother. I mean there were a lot of ups and downs in childhood but really who doesn't have those. I just miss how we could openly talk more and more. Now its hard cause we are so far apart ... maybe we will be close again some day.

I love her so much! I hope that we will be able to have another NICE visit together. ;) She was planning on another trip here in October so I hope that we will be able to enjoy another great time. Maybe this time we will get to the falls? Who knows ... lets see what I have up my sleeve for then. :)

Picture of all of us together in our newly tiled kitchen :) Oh and that shirt she is wearing --- its cause of me! I had to take her shopping to get some pretty! :)

Six Months -- I MISS YOU GRAMPA!

2008-07-01T00:13:00.000-07:00

I can't believe its been six months since I last talked to my sweet grampa. Where has the time gone? Has the pain gotten easier? HELL no! Its just that I know how to compress my feelings VERY well. Since I dont want to cry my eyes out all the time; I just put it aside and try not to think about it. I like to think about when he was alive and he would joke with me, always giving me a hard time about something, telling me that he was proud of me or that he loved me. SO today; I try hard to remember those times and try to still live my life so that he would be proud of me EVERYDAY. I sure do miss him --- I can't wait to be able to see him again, hug him and tell him about everything. Besides my husband, he was the second best man in my life and I will NEVER forget him. I will never live my life a day without thinking of him, I will never live my life so that he would be disappointed in me.

I LOVE YOU GRAMPA! I MISS YOU! I MISS SO MUCH!!! PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT THE ONLY THINGS IN LIFE THAT I MISS SO MUCH IS YOU!!! YOU HAVE BEEN IN MY HEART ALWAYS and NEVER WILL LEAVE THERE.

I love you Grampa!

This picture is one of the last hugs I had from my grampa! I will never forget!!

Ol' Friends are like Ol' Favorite Jeans ..

2008-06-23T11:48:00.000-07:00

I had a blast going to visit my friend, Tonja and her family. I haven't ever got to meet her kids just been living through them growing up via email and pictures. I haven't seen or got to hang out with Tonja since like '96 or '97. It was great to catch up. It was funny cause we were both nervous about hanging out with each other in person since we haven't done that but it was like no time had ever gone by --- a lot of things are like we were the same person. Maybe that is why we ended up being friends. In the first place -- Or maybe it was she was jealous of my silk shirt and wanted it for herself. Haha

While I was back there, we rode ATV's together --- this is where Tonja got an injury with my driving (haha --- just a scratch), we went to the water park --where we got whiplash from the 9' wave pool, we shopped and then shopped some more, we cut off Tonja's hair :) Oh I am sure that we did to get each other in trouble.

It was great to see her again and hang out. I personally feel like it "renewed" our friendship that we already had. I think we will only get closer now ... Or I sure hope so.

Tegan --- What can I say about Tegan? He is so cute and adorable yet sometimes he can drive you BATTY insane but such a cutie. He is all boy that is for sure --- Into everything and trying to figure out everything :)

And who knew a kid could have so many questions in such a short amount of time.

Tatum --- She is as cute as a bug but why wont she love me? WHY! :) I bought her a few things and she just uses me and abuses me. No love from the tater factory. ;)

I miss my friends already but I hope to be able to see them again soon! :)

Nashville/ Phat Camp

2008-06-20T11:09:00.000-07:00

Oh it was wonderful to meet Corinne in person. I was so giddy to meet her, I think I had to pinch myself (or maybe it was her) a couple of times to make sure that it was REAL!
It was great to meet the rest of the group of girls as well. I just loved them all so much more now than I did.

Phat Camp! What can I say about it. It was hard both on me emotionally and physically. I was able to do a lot --- some things I just didn't have the will or strength to do which made me feel disappointed in myself. But all in all -- I was really happy about it.

First of all, I was able to prove to myself that I really can do anything I put my mind too but I just have to put my mind there to do it. Second of all, I need to start BELIEVING in me more. I sell myself all too many times --- Instead of finding the good things I have been able to accomplish, I find all the things that I haven't accomplished or that I am not good at or what I think that I am not good at.

All in all it was good thing for me to go. I went outside my "norm" and got into something that was good for me. Maybe next time I go I will be stronger physically and emotionally. I have had a rough year.
I hope you all enjoy the photos. Please don't mind that I look awful but I was WORKING OUT hard and giving my all.

Weird but good ..

2008-06-10T17:05:00.000-07:00

Today I went into old navy and it was almost an "unreal" weirdness when I am looking for clothes in the size 10's and large shirts. I was actually finding myself irritated cause I couldn't find my clothes in my "new" size! I was like --- WHY! I saw my old size but I shunned it like there was no tomorrow! :)

Its strange to always think I would be a x-large cause I have big boobs but now able to find some large shirts and they look good one me. :)

I can do it!!! Is there a medium in my future? :)

Update in my life ...

2008-06-09T19:46:00.000-07:00

In 2 days, I leave for Nashville! I can't believe that I am going to be meeting Corinne! I am so EXCITED. I mean we have been talking online and phone for over a year and now I get to meet her and spend my weekend at Phat Camp! I am can't believe that I am doing this! I will have to update more when I get there and of course, I will be taking 100 pictures. :)

Second thing --- we start our newest challenge this week. I am leading a team. I sure hope that I do a good job on leading the team :) I can't wait to see our changes in 8 weeks! :) GO GIRLS!

In the last challenge, I lost 5lbs and 5.25 inches. I was SHOCKED! I didn't feel like I did that great but I obviously I did something right :)

creating my own workouts ...

2008-06-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

I am creating my own workouts. I am doing some side shuffles, pop squats, jumping jacks, pushups on the side of the road ---- really doing anything I could to keep my heart rate up. :) I was really happy about my workout and my progress that I am making! Some days, I amaze myself! :)

Here is a blog that got written about my little exercise routine from today :)

Get out and get moving :)

Missing my Grampa

2008-06-01T11:40:00.000-07:00

Today has been 4 months since I lost my Grampa! People say that it gets easier the longer someone has been gone but I haven't really found that "easier part" ... EVERYDAY I still find myself trying to pick up the phone to talk to him, feeling like I miss him more and more. He isn't here to share the things that I want to share. There are things that I am doing that he would be proud and I have no one to share it with. Makes me sad ... Makes me miss him more!

I love you Grampa! You are still in my heart! You will never leave it! I love you each day!!!! You will always have a place in my heart --- I just wish you were here to share my life with me.

I LOVE YOU GRAMPA! Why did you have to leave me? I miss you so much. I miss you picking on me, I miss you laughing, I miss talking to you, I miss sharing my life with you Grampa. My life seems empty without you in it. You mean so much to me and I can never replace you!

Things you would be proud of me for:
- Getting healthier (I have lost 20ish pounds this year)
- Going to Nashville for a fitness camp (you would think I was crazy... and maybe I am a little)
- Tiling our kitchen counters

I am sure there is more but I just simply miss spending my life with you!

Weekend Warrior ... More Ways than One!

2008-05-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

Okay; there are a couple of things that I am SUPER excited and proud of myself and Vincent! Okay first ME! :) I was able to buy size 10's but I wasn't going to wear them yet; but I decided to wear them and I got a TON of compliments and FELT great! I was feeling super happy and excited over it. I mean 10's!!!!! I was feeling SEXY!
I know that it had nothing to do with my 10's but on Saturday we went to Storables to get some stuff, I saw something and I got excited and the cashier goes "She is so CUTE" ... I was a little embarrassed but somehow felt good. Haha!

Second thing, I officially lost a pound! It could have been more but this weekend eating hasn't been stellar! I am not proud but I will kick butt next week!

Third thing, we decided since we couldn't paint the outside of our house, we will tile our kitchen counter top! It has been something we wanted to do but we haven't done yet (almost 4 years later). So we went and bought the tiles and started our project! OMG! I am going to put together a little story book of our project when its done.

On top of our tile project, I am RE-Doing our guest bedroom! Its REALLY starting to come together and looking GREAT! I need to get some pictures of my "finished" product and post them up here. I painted two accent walls, made a headboard with my hubby's help on cutting the plywood, put together some decorations and now its almost "spa" like! Its awesome! I am excited for my mom to come down and hopefully she will enjoy the "new" guest bedroom!

Since I still have things left to do; I have to get off and get busy! I love having a weekend warrior buddy, Vincent! You did awesome job and I LOVE IT! Thanks love buddy! You are the bestest (and yes that is a word. hehe)!

Seeing Stars in my Eyes ..

2008-05-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

Yes its no joke that you are seeing stars in my eyes. Yesterday, I got to fit into a size 10 jeans! Can you believe? I love PHIT N PHAT! Corinne, Trish and other mods has really helped changed my attitude. I am starting to believe more in what I am and worrying less about stuff that isn't important. I believe that I can achieve anything I put my mind, heart into! :)

Here is to my 10's and here is to the next size! HERE I COME AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME 8's! :)

Another PnP Blog?

2008-05-23T22:24:00.000-07:00

Its the small things that I enjoy and get excited but I got to do a blog for Corinne again. Makes me really happy and feel great to be able to know that I got to be able to help Corinne and anyone who read my blog. This has been what I have been thinking anyway and I just got to share it with my PnP viewers! Take a look at it here!

Watching those carbs ...

2008-05-19T10:52:00.000-07:00

Okay so I said I REALLY wanted to lose weight, I would do basically everything and anything Trish and Corinne told me to do --- I talked to Trish and I am REALLY watching my diet. I woke up this morning and before running out the door, I made some egg whites --- came to work -- coffee in hand. And of course this place (work) is a breeding place of junk food. No wonder why I was so fat --- candy everywhere, Starbuck runs. Wow! Anyhow I am REALLY dying for some bread, oatmeal, pasta, rice --- anything. :) But I think its all psychological. I will keep telling myself; I can do it, I can do it!

Today, I am ordering some new protein powder ... I can't believe how excited I am to be able to get something new.
http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/opt/cas.html

http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/met/whey.html

HardCore Diet/ Exercise

2008-05-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

I took some more photos recently and I realized I REALLY need to go hard and strong on both my diet and my exercise. I can see the difference in myself but not as much as I would like too. I try to remind myself that I didnt get fat overnight so I am not going to get phit overnight as well. Its hard when I am talking about myself here. :)

I decided that I am going to have to go hardcore on my diet and exercise. I am getting the advice from Trish on food; and exercise. I am going to continue with the FNF challenge but I am going to be adding in some more pushups/ situps during each day. Also, I am going to try to throw in an extra day of circuit or ST to help myself get to where I want to be. Where do I want to be? HOT! :) Okay ... I would love to be a short Oxygen model and I am willing to work hard to get there.

I am REALLY afraid to stick my photos out there for all to see. I am sure that other people like Trish and Corinne would make nice comments but I just wanted to be so much further than I am today! I just have to keep at it.

I afraid that while I am gone to the beach that I will lose a lot of what I have gained already. I dont know why but I am really "fearful" that I will get in my head, its okay I can have whatever and do whatever I want since I have been on vacation so here is my plan for the next couple of weeks for exercise.

MONDAY- ST/ CARDIO (after work)
TUESDAY- ST/ CARDIO (drive in from home)
WEDNESDAY- CARDIO only
THURSDAY- ST/ CARDIO (drive to gym from home)
FRIDAY- CARDIO
SATURDAY- CARDIO
SUNDAY- DOR

Memorial Day Week:
MONDAY- ST/ CARDIO (drive to gym from home)
TUESDAY- ST/ CARDIO (drive to gym from home)
WEDNESDAY- CARDIO
THURSDAY- CIRCUIT/ CARDIO (at home before we leave for the beach, yes even if I have to get up at 4a)
FRIDAY to SUNDAY- CARDIO (trying to get some "walking/ jogging" on the beach and there is a hill by the beach hill, I plan on taking this once or twice in a day.
MONDAY- DOR or light CARDIO (we travel home that day)

I am working on my schedule for after I get home from the beach and I will get it up here. Then when I am at my friends place after Phat Camp, I plan on taking extra PP and also trying to get in something there even if its not hardcore until I get home. :) I just don't want to lose my motivation, my strength ..... I just have to keep training like its my last day! ;) I like to see my muscles getting tighter, phitter, stronger .... I JUST seriously need to shed some extra baggage!

Family Photos ..

2008-05-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

Today we went in and had family photos done. Why is it that when you are going to get this done that the FG comes and sits on your shoulder and tells ya all the things you REALLY dont need to hear? I had Vincent take a couple pictures of me so that I could see how I "really" looked versa the camera.

All in all, I was pretty pleased with the photos and how the they turned out. I can't wait to get them or be able to view them online so I can show all my friends and family. There is one of Vincent and I and I absolutely love it. I can't wait to order our copy.

After we were done w/ the photos, mom and dad and us went out to PF Chang's and had some dinner. It was yummy! :) I was pretty happy that I stayed in my limits besides my alcoholic beverages (151 rum kicks my butt). :)

Cardio?? A future runner?

2008-05-12T07:10:00.000-07:00

Here is what I feel like today ---- dang! Some days cardio are a killer but I must get it in! :)

I learned that there is a race in Vernonia this summer and I'm excited about it. I think its going to be great since its my first one and its in my new town. I am hoping that I can do a little sweet talking to my hubby and see if he wants to go with me! Hehe! I am hoping that I will grow up to be a future runner. Do you think that I can be a runner?

I have been having a hard time getting in the circuit training and I am REALLY worried about Phat Camp since this has been kicking my butt so much. But on another front, I am looking forward to it cause I am hoping that I will get some answers to some questions and the whole "group" workout will help boast my self esteem! :)

Off to another day ..... MAKE IT A GREAT ONE!

Tuna Ideas??

2008-05-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what to with the can of tuna for lunch? Here are some ideas.
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/stella3.htm

I am planning on trying these with both tuna and canned chicken this coming week! :)

27 Years Old

2008-05-10T23:27:00.000-07:00

Today I turned twenty seven years old. At first, I was REALLY depressed about it because I felt like I had nothing to look forward too anymore. But when I started to think about a few things -- I have a lot more to look forward to when it comes to health, fitness --- maybe I wont have milestones like getting my drivers license or turning 18 or 21 to be able to drink legally but I have the milestone of 1/2 marathon, helping myself get fitter, healthier, and enjoying life to the fullest! I am now excited about it.
What do you look forward to for this year? Me ---

Phat Camp; where I am more excited to meet Corinne than Jen H (dont tell her)
See my best friend, Tonja
5k or 10k run in Vernonia (August 16, 2008th)
Camping where I plan on looking sexy, tan and able to wear shorts and a bathing suit
1/2 Marathon where I get to meet my friend, Trish
a trip somewhere and I am going to show some skin (planning)

But most of all, I am looking forward to living my life as a healthier, happier person! I am tired of hiding behind people, or baggy clothes --- I am going to be a confident woman! This is my year!

Sweat plus sacrifice equals success

2008-05-09T22:01:00.000-07:00

This saying is up on the wall of my gym: Sweat plus sacrifice equals success. So what does that mean to me? Sweat; we pour our hearts, souls, energy into our workouts. Sacrifice; maybe we give up foods that we use to really enjoy, eat the foods that we don’t really enjoy but it’s something on our “diet”. We give up time that we can spend with our families, or watching our TV show or hobbies, or enjoy that extra hour of sleep in the comfy bed to get our workouts in to make ourselves healthier and overall enjoy more of our “life” with them doing the things we wanted to do. We go to the gym, kick butt, pour blood, sweat and sometimes tears to get the body of our dreams.

So what does it mean to you? What are you willing to “sacrifice”? Do you believe that you are worth the hard work and sacrifice that you have to do to be able to enjoy life to the fullest?

For me the sacrifices that I will and do give up are worth it. Why? Because I will have more confidence in myself, my health will be better to be able to enjoy with my family, I will have the energies to do the things in life that I want to do. How many times do we got to events in life whether its parties, weddings, sporting events with friends and family and we are so self conscience during the whole thing whether we look “okay” or I hope they don’t notice this or that, we miss the real joy of the event.

During the last year, I have had a lot of ups and downs but let me say that I have been enjoying more self confidence in myself because I see myself transforming. It’s like a little butterfly coming out of my cocoon. It’s now reflecting in my everyday life in all facets of my life. I can’t wait to see myself a year from now.

Now, its time for you … what are you going to do? Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that you are a woman or man that deserves the best in life? I hope so! Because we ALL deserve to have the best in life, I really do believe that!

Phit N Phat Blog .....

2008-05-09T21:05:00.000-07:00

Corinne asked me to write a blog one day while she was gone on a conference ... Honestly, I didnt know if I could do it when she first asked me but I figured I would wing it. I got an overwhelming response. It really made me feel like I could give good advice; I always worry that I am not saying the right thing or something ..... I am going to try to be a little more outspoken for my advice. :)
Here is a link to my blog that I am so proud of! :) Enjoy!

New wheels ..

2008-05-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

I got some new wheels ...... Woot! We signed the papers to my brand spankin' new 2008 Honda Accord. Oh, she is a beauty! I love it ... We got a great deal and we got everything we wanted except for navigation but I don't think that its really worth the $2k. I am so excited about it ---- its a great car. Nicest car I have ever owned :) I love the moonroof, xm radio, leather seats! I will try to get some more pictures up here soon! :)

Closer, closer .... cold feet?

2008-05-05T19:47:00.001-07:00

Why is it the closer that I get to Phat Camp that I feel a little less motivation? I dont even know if that is the RIGHT word for it but I am just feeling "discouraged" today. I want to be further along in my fitness world than I am. For whatever reason, I am craving sugar like there is no tomorrow. I had just have had a bad couple of days of food for some reason --- there was no rhyme or reason besides laziness & lack of motivation.

I hate to bring it up because I don't want to be a downer .... I just don't know what my deal is but I do refuse to let it get me to the places that I had been at before. I will just have to shake it off and move on. I will continue to just keep faking it.

I think that part of it was that I am worried or anxious over Phat Camp. Will I be strong enough? Will I have enough endurance? Will I be able to keep up with all the girls? Will I let Corinne down? I think I am anxious over that since I have been with Corinne so long that I should be at goal but it took me awhile to find myself, then I got going, then I got pregnant, then I miscarried and this week is FINALLY my week that I can go "balls to the wall" and I think I am just having a mental block.

Maybe I will make an early night and I hope that tomorrow will bring a better day, better attitude. :)

burn baby burn ....

2008-05-01T21:35:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it .... Today I found myself pushing myself ... I made myself a goal/ commitment to my team that I would burn 600 calories today at the gym. I got there -- I gave my ST my all and I did cardio. I got to 600 but I saw that I had a few minutes to make an "even" number on the treadmill so I pushed myself for the last 10 minutes and got myself a total of 727 calories burned!

For the month of May ... Its going to be a GREAT month for me. why? Cause I am going to make it a great one! I turn 27 years this year (May 10th), I am going to work all my workouts like the biggest loser "last chance workouts", I am going to push myself to new limits .......

Yesterday and today have been a great lesson for myself. I AM A STRONG person, I need to constantly be pushing myself to the NEXT level. I am making that commitment to myself and to all of my PnP friends that I will do that!

Here's to a great month of May! :)

Why do your friends say the dumbest things??

2008-04-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have someone who is your friend who just doesn't seem to believe in your or doubts things that you are really excited about? And you ask yourself "why is this person my friend?"

Today I am really excited and pumped up because I got my ticket booked for Phat Camp in June and also going to go see my sweet friend, Tonja back in Wisconsin that I haven't gotten to visit or see in like 12 years (wow we are getting old).

So today I was saying how excited that I was that I am going to be going to this "Phat Camp" or boot camp for fitness. Someone who I consider a friend makes the comment to me, "They call it boot camp for a reason. Its going to be hard, you are going to die and why in the heck would you want to spend your money on something stupid like that?" I replied back "For starters, I don't think its stupid, I want to go, I know its going to be hard but I am ready for the challenge. I think its something that I need to do for me in my life." She make the comment that really kicks me in the gut "Becca ... we are about the same size and there is no way that I could last 5 minutes in a boot camp, what makes you think you can?" I said "Cause I believe that I can and I have the endurance to make it."

So anyhow I just was thinking that I think I can make it! I know that I can do good at it. Just is one of those things that come up in life that make you think, why are you my friend again? :) It makes me think about life and your goals. I really do believe that sometimes we all need to re-evulate some of our friendships we have and figure out if they are getting us or helping us get to the places in life that we want to be at. Are they same as you? If not, will they at least support you along your journey?

On another front of fitness, relationships, friends --- this weekend was a huge success and hit for the Phit-n-Phat family. There were a few people who conquered their first 1/2 marathon, a few people got to meet each other in person, and etc. :)

I got an email from dear sweet Corinne that boosted me up in the clouds: For you, missy, I think you need to get in on whatever week your team is on and kick it like you've been there the whole time. You are a strong woman even though you aren't going to feel like that the first few workouts, but don't doubt yourself and just push to what you can do right now and then push a little more the next day. Becca, I really believe in you. I don't know what has changed for you and I don't care. I just know that I like this positive Becca who is ready to find her hotness, maturity, kickass spirit, and take herself to new challenges.

There was more to her email but let me say that this just made my day! I was in cloud nine and I continue to have people around me that are like that so that I don't get down and I keep myself up. :) I have lots of plans for myself and my fitness goals and I can't wait to start achieving them.

Phat Camp: June 13-15 (Nashville, TN)
1/2 Marathon: December or January
1/2 Marathon: June 2009/ Nashville, TN

I am excited to see some changes in my body and mind this year. Stay tuned for the kickass Becca :)

Movie in Vernonia?

2008-04-26T12:15:00.001-07:00

I live in a TINY town called Vernonia, Oregon. When I say small, I am talking about like 2200 population. Anyhow we have a movie that is getting somewhat filmed here in our town. Its crazy to me ..

Check out a few links that we found. :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cupdegrave/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/features/columns/on_location/e3i2db2b6662428870c6b5d621d545eac1f

Go, Go my PnP Friends

2008-04-26T11:11:00.000-07:00

Today there were a few of our PnP gals and guy that did the CMM 1/2 marathon. I am so happy and proud of EACH one of them for their accomplishment. I wish I could have been there with them but maybe next year. Here is a few results I found and I will try to update later when I get the other results. :)
Trish: 2:41:43 Finished
Dawn: 2:22:54 Finished
Jessica: 2:12:48 Finished
Bill: 2:24:00 Finished
Kate: 2:41:45 Finished

Way to go EVERYONE! :) I am so happy for each one of you! If you want to track anyone, go here.

Today, I got to talk to both Trish and Corinne! Sweet! I am so happy that I did. It cheered up my day like there was no tomorrow. I got to say hi to everyone as well --- Jess, Dawn, Corinne, Lorie, Bill, Kate ... It was great! :) I felt so a part of PnP ...... I got to tell you, I just love this group of people. :)

Hanging in there ..

2008-04-25T19:38:00.000-07:00

Today is a hard day for me but all in all, I am holding up though it seems like its by a string.

I went in for a DnC -- It was a hard day for me emotionally. Its was the "final thing" to do to get things behind us. The procedure itself went okay but emotionally its been really hard for me but Vincent has been the sweetest, kindest, and been completely supportive during the whole thing.

I have not only been upset over the DnC part but also for the fact that I had to go in for "minor surgery". I had never been in surgery and that part FREAKED me out.

Now its time for me to move on but its a little hard to be honest. All of the sudden, I hear that EVERYONE is pregnant or hear it on TV, radio or something. It just seems like a slap in the face all the time but I am trying to make plans or things to have on my plate to help me keep moving forward. If I don't, I think I will go crazy :)

Thanks for all the love and support that you have all given me --- there is no enough words to say "Thank you" :) I love you all!

A heartbreaking message ...

2008-04-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

Went into the doctor today for another ultrasound and they "confirmed" our baby died. They said that there was no heartbeat or growth or my blood levels aren't for a viable pregnancy. She said "she hated to tell me that but she believes my baby had died" ... wow. That was a jab to my heart today.I am holding up "okay" ... I am not happy, I am a little angry, sad .... I just am having a hard time dealing with it. And its weird for me cause I know have to go into the doctor and find out what I am going to do from here. Where and what I am wanting to do since I haven't miscarried or anything. I dont even know if that is the right wording.

I do plan on getting back into things cause its the only thing that I have control of, the thing that will make me feel the best and etc. Just trying to get my head around it all. Its hard ...

I am so thankful to have a wonderful husband who was there for me to help me support me through all of this, comforting and always thinking of me emotionally. I love him so much. What I would do without him? FREAK out! :)

Besides my sweet husband, I have a wonderful network of people who are loving, kind and supportive for me through family, friends and co-workers. Thanks for all being there for me.

Im getting VERY concerned ..

2008-04-15T22:27:00.000-07:00

I have been having some really bad cramping but no passing blood or anything so I called my doctors and they had me to come in yesterday for an ultrasound and blood work. They couldn't find the heartbeat and they feel like they should at 6 1/2 weeks. My blood count came back good and high so I have to go back in tomorrow and get more blood work to see if my numbers are staying high or dropping. Then I have an appointment on 4/28 for another ultrasound and see if they can THEN hear the heartbeat.

This is REALLY taking an emotional toll on me because they told me to prepare for the worse which would be a miscarriage. I am trying to hold my head up high and believe that things will be okay but its little hard when you hear that from the doctor.

Omg ... We are going to be parents!!

2008-03-31T08:22:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to take a pregnancy test. And, honestly, I just didn't think that I would see the positive sign. WOW!!! It said "positive"!! I woke up Vincent "Can you come look at this?" He comes in the bathroom looks at it, looks at the information and he looks up at me and said "We are going to be parents. We are PREGNANT"! I was in total SHOCK! Two hours later, I took another test because I thought that it might be wrong though in my head I know that you can't get a false positive. I called Kaiser and got an appointment set.

Vincent and I drove down to Hillsboro to celebrate and get some prenatal vitamins, pregnancy journal, some reading material, and a gift for Mom and Dad (Vincent's parents) cause we were dying to tell them. We got them a bag of goodies to make them guess (some baby corns, baby baby pickles, some baby cans of diet pepsi, some baby muffins, a kid book called "Hop on Pop" and then some candy bars. :) Mom started to get the guess --- saw the book and knew for sure that she was going to be a Gramma! Dad and her were so EXCITED! :)

I can't wait to see you little one! You are 4 weeks old! I can't wait ... Just another 35 weeks to go :) I love you already! Welcome to our family ... we can't wait to see you!

Let the Purge Begin

2008-03-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I decided that I was going to go through my closet, my drawers, UNDER MY BED of all the clothes I have and get arid of a bunch. Yesterday I was a little sad. There are some things that I have kept for 6-7 years but I refuse to get arid of and then there are things that I have boughten but never fit right and they stayed in my closet. I wanted to make a clean slate so when I get up in the morning, I go to my closet and say "What am I going to wear?" And I have an easier choice and then just wearing something baggy that make me feel bad all day or something that is completely unflattering that I will be like "ugh .....I shouldn't have worn this."

I wrote on my PnP journal just how emotional it is to get arid of clothes but this is my response back to people ..... It sums it up pretty good.

Purge is still in progress but so far so good. I went through yesterday just my closet. I tried on shirts and the ones that don't compliment me and when I wear them, I feel terrible in either too tight or the ones that are baggier in the tummy area so that I didn't show my fat rolls before, I got arid of them. 2 bags of clothes so far. I have to go through underneath my bed and pull out the "before" Becca let go of herself and pick out 3 items from before and then the rest I am going to get arid of. It felt good in a way to be able to have room in my closet and know that everything in there is stuff that I wear. I still have some "in between" ok stuff that I am not attached too but I certainly don't want to be running around here with no clothes. I just told my DH that I am going to keep certain things because they are "ok" and I like them but when I get out of these 12's they are off to goodwill. :) The nice part of the purge yesterday is there are shirts that I was like I am goign to get arid of .... they never fit right. So I tried them on, and they look good on me. WORKING ON THOSE ARMS for the summer. I will have some cute outfits. :P

I encourage any of you who haven't done this yet to do it. I find it yesterday kind of a mental cleaning day. Showed me that I have lost weight, shows that I am making progress and I am not going to let the FG back in.

My DH goes well that is cute, you can keep it and when you get pregnant or after the baby that you can wear it. I said "hun I hope to be at least 2 sizes smaller than what I was when I get pregnant. they have clothes that are maternity clothes and then when we have the baby. Im off the gym again. I am gonna be a hot momma!" I think for me it was saying that I am not going to ever allow myself to creep up to 16's again. NO WAY. I was so unhappy there and I am not going to be there again.

I have to get the purge finished today. My bedroom looks like a tornado came through.

Hope you are all having a great day! (((HUGS))))

Update in my life ..

2008-03-12T07:34:00.000-07:00

Ok I have been gone for about a month and half. Where have I been? Whats been going on? First of all, I lost my sweet Grampa to death on February 1st. It was indeed the hardest phone call I had ever received. It killed me! I still today can't believe he is gone or maybe I just don't want to believe that he is gone. EVERYDAY I miss him more and more. He was 5 days away from coming to Oregon to look at this house he wanted to buy, he just signed the papers on his house to be sold 2 days before that. His dream was coming true but his heart gave away too fast. :(
I have been dealing with the mess that one gets to have after someone they love dies. I haven't had too much time to grief, I guess really what is it all mean to grief. I have been dealing with realtors, lawyers, life insurance people, my family ..... sigh. I haven't had a moment to really soak in all the stuff and I think mentally I am trying not too because if I do that means that I will have to believe he isn't here anymore.
On the other side of my life, fitness has become more important to me than ever. Why? Because I want to be healthy for a long time, I don't want the health problems that the rest of my family deals with. I have dealt with my problem long enough and its time to change. :) Now I am working hard on kicking some butt!

I was honored when the girls at PnP asked me to be the spotlight of the month there. Here is my story and my little page that they gave me. I am truly honored. I am hoping in time to make more of a difference at PnP and be able to help more of the girls and inspire them to be the best they can be. :)
I am hoping that my life will calm down here in a bit. I am looking forward to some goals that I have in mind this summer. :)
Take care everyone!!!

2008-01-31T09:41:00.000-08:00

Ok so funny story. The other day, I over at our kitchen garbage can doing something (putting in trash or something) and some how I broke the lid. So joking my husband has been teasing me about being the "hulk" ... I mean, really is that a bad thing? :) I mean have you seen Trish's pictures on PnP! If I can look like that, ok then .... I am not going to cry any tears in my beer about it.

Yesterday, I did something that really tested my ability and made me feel proud about myself. About a month ago, I wouldn't be able to do a "guy pushup" if it were to save my life. But yesterday I did. I came home proud from the gym, go to my DH and say ... LOOK! I show him that I can do it. Then I get the camera & have him take both a video and a picture of me doing it. While he is messing with trying to get our flash working, I was in the push up position for at least like 7 seconds holding. I was so proud ....... I am getting stronger and stronger each day. I feel it and I love it. I just can't wait to see the rewards of my pretty muscles coming out and showing themselves off ;)

I want to say one thing! You have to really BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! Everyone can tell you that you can do it, you may need a butt chewing here and there but this has to come from you soul and just do it. I really do believe that. I start to see changes in me overall; mentally and physically. Everyday I go to the gym, I tell myself that I can do it. I can be the person who I want to be, not the person that I am! I think sometimes people rely on others so much that they MIGHT forget that ultimately it comes down to one person. Thats YOU! You can gain a ton of encouragement, support to help you through your journey (and I do have a lot of and I love you all) but the ONE person that can get you to the gym is you, the one person who can resist a cookie or a chip in the mouth is YOU. You have to make these decisions. JUST DO IT! (I should work for Nike!) I am around other people and I hear the excuses (and I have used them too) that they did this or that because it was there or they were at a friends house., they were stressed out. Ok we all say this but really .... YOU ARE THE ONE PICKING UP THE COOKIE or making the decision not to get to the gym. I had to finally get that through this thick head of mine and now I am starting to see it and believe it. I have been REALLY proud of myself that I have been able to talk myself out of eating the horrors of chips, cookies, candy ...... and look at my overall goal in life. :) Now its up to you, what will you do?

Crazy weather ...

2008-01-29T20:49:00.000-08:00

This weather has been crazy this winter. We experienced a flood, we have been having a lot more snow than normal. BRRR!! For awhile, we just had a FREEZING cold weather. BRRR! Its hard to get out and exercise or even go to the gym. All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep :)

Today I got this forward and I was thinking that I would love to deal with the cold freezing weather if I could just freeze off "certain" unhappy spots on myself. :) I hope you all enjoy it.

I was able to get my cardio in today. I did Taebo advanced and I wasn't able to get through it all but I did workout hard. I burned 50o calories and I was still dripping sweat when I was done for awhile!! Thats a GREAT workout!! :) I hope you all have a great w/o!!! Get lifting and sweating!! :)

Retraining our brains

2008-01-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

For so long, we have been brainwashed on thinking that we should either be a side -0 because that is what Hollywood said and the only way to do this is by starving ourselves and etc or always hearing that strength training is going to bulk you up and you want long, lean muscles.

Ok here is the story! Everyone needs to quit looking on TV for quick fixes! No more diet pills (promising you will lose 30# in 2 weeks) or programs! Everyone (including myself at times) wants to take off the weight overnight. People get discouraged cause they are only losing .5lb to 1lb a week. The worse is when you have been doing so well all week, you step on it and you see a GAIN! Immediately, you want to throw your hands in the air and say "I quit ... there is no use. I am always going to be fat." HOLD ON!!! Lets stop and look at the week you just had ..... 1) you have been exercising, you body isn't use to this kind of "abuse" and is retaining water to repair itself. 2) you haven't been properly fueling yourself along with your exercising ...... 3) you have to include some weights in there girls! This will help you burn more fat when you are still sleeping and eating while cardio wont! If you don't believe me, take a look at my PnP family! I don't think they will sugar coat anything for ya here but that is ok, that's what I want and need. 4) You are eating more 100 calorie packs than you are veggies or whole grains. Don't get me wrong, I thin that WW is a great program to use when used correctly but I find too many times that people are eating "diet coke cake" for BREAKFAST! WHAT!!! Or they justify to have a ice cream cake because they have the points for it but they haven't had their dairy, fruits or veggies in there. THIS is the problem!!!

I still have to remind myself of these sometimes. I have to look back on my weeks journal and see why I am maintaining or not losing. Maybe I ate out 3x this week but stayed within my calories but the sodium levels are EXTREME! So before you just throw in the towel, I promise if you educate yourself properly that you will see results! You will! But you have to give it some effort -- some blood, sweat and tears! It may be easy to gain the weight but you are going to have to work like HELL to get it off! But will it be worth it? This is a personal matter ... Is your life worth it for you!? My answer is YES! I realize that I am going to have to work hard, train hard, eat like I am in training and I am going to be glad I did in the end! I am not going to throw in my towel at the end of a bad day, bad week ..... I will just dust off my butt and move on!

Today is the day to dust off the ol' bottom, get working on bettering yourself and educating yourself. You must learn so you will be able to do this for a lifetime!

Challenges, Commitments ...

2008-01-27T21:04:00.000-08:00

When you hear these words what do you think of? Probably something that has to do with fitness, diets or something? You are right. I am thinking of the challenges that I am in and how I am working hard on getting myself Phit n Phat! :) I was thinking about what can make us stall on our weight loss!! Honestly!!! Is it just a bite of cookie here and there? Those bites, licks, tastes could absolutely stall our weight loss!! Remember everyone ... you are only cheating YOURSELF! By doing this, you wont get the results you want, you will be getting disappointed, maybe even not having any motivation to move forward. So only way to do this is to take it SERIOUSLY! Commit to yourself for a certain amount of time and you will see this WONDERFUL reward ahead of you.

The other day I had leg workout and I was FEELING it. I am pleased only for the fact that I LOVE it cause it really made me feel GOOD! I was like "Yes, look at me. I am doing it. I am giving it my 100%."

I am going to have to work around things this week so that I can get my workouts in but I WILL get them all done. :) I have preplanned our meals and I am EXCITED! :)

Bowling ...

2008-01-26T21:18:00.000-08:00

Today I had to work but after work, I met up with my sweetie and Thomas. We went and had dinner at Red Robin. Not the best idea but I wanted a chicken burger so bad .... (dust the mistake off my butt & move on). We decided to go bowling afterwards. It was so much fun!!!! :) I think we are going to try to go bowling again or make plans to go at least once a month. :)
I completely suck at it but I did have fun and enjoy myself! :)

Get off my back ...

2008-01-24T09:09:00.000-08:00

Lately the stress has been resting on my shoulders. I think it was due to overtired, family issues, tom, etc. Whenever this comes up, I am quick to think .... "I WANT CANDY". I must admit that I did buy some, I took one bite and threw it in the garbage. I was like "what are you doing? " I need to stop this cycle ...
I started at the gym but left feeling good. Please hope that I don't quit what I started. I have been worried that I won't do good at the challenge. I think tom snuck up and I wasn't prepared mentally.I have had a lot on my plate lately and seems to me whenever I think I can take a deep breath that I can't do that.

I have been going to the gym a few times downstairs in our work building. I do a GREAT job leaving it all there when I am alone but as soon as people are there and I think that they may pay attention to what I am doing, I am all 1/2 hearted cause I dont want to look stupid. I really need to pull my focus together. I am planning on trying to break my workouts apart so they don't seem so intense that I can't do them and that I am REALLY giving it my all instead of just trying to get it done and over so that I can get home.

I will do this. I have the love, support and I know I have the willpower!!! I just need leave my other problems at the door and work on doing WHAT I need to do and I can DO for ME!!!

Break Free ...??

2008-01-20T20:09:00.000-08:00

What are we working toward? Do you have a date in mind? Sometimes I have no motivation to do anything. The scale is taking too long to show the results I want. Its like when I go to the gym, I expect to see results immediately in my ol' noggin. So here are a few things that I am using as "spring/ summertime goals or things to work toward though this is a LIFESTYLE I want to develop into.

9 weeks until my 7th year anniversary
16 weeks until my 27th birthday
24 weeks until week with my family (4th of July)
31 weeks until our big camping trip at the lake

I keep trying to keep these goals in my mind and focused on them so that I make EVERY workout count, every bite of food count. I need to lose this weight for more than these things but these things are motivating me. I want to get healthier and prepared for a baby. :)

My life goals:

I want sexy arms, sexy abs, legs that I feel like I can wear shorts, capris, & skirts ...
I want a healthier lifestyle to help me add years to my life I want to have a more active lifestyle ...
I want to be a great example for my family and my future children ...

How do I plan on getting here? I plan on working out 5-6 days a week, watching the food that I eat, being an active part of PnP to help myself and be an encouragement to those around me. Will this be hard? Yes, I am sure that I will struggle just the same as everyone else struggles but I know that this is what I want to do and I want to be healthy, I want to be active, I want to do more in my life! Hiking, biking, swimming, camping .... I want to have the life that I long for :)

2008-01-19T12:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we all get frustrated with the scale. There are so many things that can make it move either up or down. I can say that is how I am feeling today. I jump on there to see a "gain" but I am trying to remember that I am doing ST right now so I need not worry too much. My TOM is coming up closely. Most girls have been trained to think that they have to "weigh" a certain amount. I am trying hard to get that out of my head. I am worried about how my clothes fit, what the mirror says, what my husband says .... I am trying hard but it does effect me. I ask "do you think I need to lock up the scale"?

On another note, my sister all of the sudden has decided she wants to do something about her weight, going to the gym and etc. Should I be happy? Yes. I struggle with this. I am happy as that she is doing something for her health. On the other hand, I get so tired of not being able to do something without having her copy me. I am not joking when I say this but she will cut her hair the same, she will dye her the same, try the same kind of clothes (even if they aren't her style). So while its nice she is doing something again I just feel like "here we go again"!! I can say that I hope she does it for HERSELF and not for someone else. Am I crazy to think this way? Maybe its just the "sister competition" thing but it just bothers me.

Update on my HRM. I love it!!! Yesterday I was able to see how many calories I burned. So much more than what the treadmill said or the plug in for the sparkpeople. I am so glad that I invested in it. Its nice to know the ACTUAL calories burnt! :) I love my new toy/ gadget!!!!!

I got a new toy today ......

2008-01-18T13:38:00.000-08:00

I got a new toy today. I have been talking about getting one for awhile but I have been slow to move in that direction but today I decided to go ahead and get myself a HRM. I am really trying to give my ALL in my fitness and one of the ways I need to be able to do this is by exercise and making sure I am burning my total calories. :)

So to me and my new toy ..... HORRAY! Who would have ever thought of me wanting gadgets for fitness :) I get so excited over the small things, new protein powder, HRM, Treadmill, Bootcamp (yah ... BootcamP)

Tonight, I plan on kicking butt at the gym. I am going to be trying to go back to the gym 3x a week if possible until we figure out what we want to do about a treadmill. :) Super excited!! have a great weekend planned as well. :)

Update .....

2008-01-17T17:59:00.000-08:00

Okay so I tried the protein powder as soon as I got home. :) I couldn't even wait for dinner .. :)

I LOVE IT!!! I can only imagine what is going to taste like all frozen up and goodness. :) I am so happy I got it. I had Vincent try a little drink and he said "Not bad for a drink like that ...." hehe! :)

So if you are a little fruity like me .... You got to try the Matrix Orange Cream Protein Powder :) You will love it!!

Did I hear Protein Powder ...???

2008-01-17T14:55:00.000-08:00

I think I am crazy !! Why? Cause I am so excited, I can't wait to get home and try my new protein powder that came in the mail today! :) Please don't commit me to a mental ward yet :)

I have heard a ton of raves about the Matrix 5.0, Orange Creme Protein Powder. So I ordered some online. Vincent called to tell me that it was delivered. :) Its like fitness/ nutrition is wrapping itself all around me and I'm loving it!!! :)

I can't wait for my evening snack!!! :)

Day 1 of 84 day challenge

2008-01-14T20:50:00.000-08:00

Thats right!!!! DAY ONE!!!!! I am bummed that I didn't get to workout that I planned but I am planning on making it up :) I am going to try to do one day 2x cardio and then I can make up my cardio that I missed today. I am doing great food wise. I am super excited. Where or what will I look like in 12 weeks? I hope that I am down a few more pounds, maybe even a few more inches. :) I keep looking at some of the new outfits out there for summer but I AM NOT going to buy anything until after this challenge and maybe there will be another one to join or maybe I will make up my own challenge. I have a lot of motivation head of me!!!! :)

Lets do it!!!!! I know we all can do it. Just have to try hard!!!! If it was as easy as sitting on the couch, we would all be skinny, right? :)

WII Boxing

2008-01-13T21:24:00.000-08:00

I finally broke down and tried the Wii Boxing tonight. It was so much fun! Talk about a little bit of a workout!!! I broke a sweet doing it but it was definitely fun. I did a great job too!!! :) I didn't get knock downed until like Game 6 or something. :) Its definitely a lot of fun!! :) Give it a try!!!!

Preplanning

2008-01-13T19:43:00.000-08:00

I am really happy that with my progress with making changes to my life for making it better. Is it easy? Heck no!! It takes a lot of work but one of the "tools" or "keys" would you say that I use is that I have been pre-planning. Yep, thats right!!! I have figured out what I am doing with both my food and my exercise routines! Its hard to preplan your week all the time. Sometimes you may feel "trapped" or feel like you aren't able to change your mind or something. Now if you have preplanned you would switch Tuesdays dinner for Mondays dinner if you wanted too but the key is that you are looking, planning to make sure you get in all your HG's in all the time. Are you getting enough calories, protein, fiber, carbs .... then you have your fruits, veggies!!!? I have found if I do this there are a lot less bumps in the road, less speed bumps hit at 50mph! This is if your life and the only person that can take control of it. I will say until I am blue in my face but I have seen how preplanning can TRULY help.
How about this? Try to preplan one meal for the week! Then start adding to it. Next, your workouts!!!

On the bright side this week, I lost 2.4lbs! I couldn't believe it!!! I was so EXCITED!

This weekend was a great weekend! We had a friend up, I didn't overindulge on anything. I did have a little bite or two cookies but I limited myself and I didn't let myself get out of control! I am really pleased. Sugar is my "crack" and I am glad that I am getting over it.

My sweetie mentioned that he can see that I lost some weight in my face!!! It means a lot of me to have him be so supportive. He is always helping me, he is always listening to me and I know that he is probably tired of hearing it all the time but he is sweet and listens. :) He helps wtih the meal preparing. Yippee!! Also here is some more little "woohoo" that I received that helps me keep going.

WOOHOO Becca... so proud of you. You are just this little PNP blossom! Good job on the planning. That's such a huge part of the battle!~M.W.

Becca, I am just so proud of you. You have really turned the corner and are making this part of your life and making great decisions that are going to get you closer to your goal each day. Just keep doing it and I promise you will see the progress and be so thankful for the good choices you made. ~D.

Seriously - you earned this girl and I'm so proud of you - I'm beaming right now! ~T.T.

I have more but I don't want to seem like a hothead :) But all the love, support has HONESTLY helped me this week! It makes me feel like I am getting a viritual hug from all of my wonderful PnP girls!! (((HUGS)))

2008-01-11T09:28:00.000-08:00

Today I found out from my sister and my mom should be coming (Its PLANNED) to come out here July 2-July 9th!!! Basically 24 weeks until they are out here. My mom knows that I am working out and trying to lose weight. I even have mentioned it to my sister as well but I am not going to be sending any pictures of progress at all until they come out. :)

I am excited. Its the first time my sister will have come out here since my wedding (7 years ago) and my mom (3 years) so that will be nice to have them out here. I think we are going to plan on going to the beach one day. :)

Anyhow I am really excited and everything. I was talking to my mom this morning about attitude and etc. It drives me insane anymore that people are always making excuses cause I am the queen of excuses and I left them out the door!!!!! :)

Well I can't wait to see the shock on their faces!!! To a new me!!!!

My little secret ...

2008-01-10T08:42:00.000-08:00

My secret!!! I am having this competitive side of me with my family. For starters, my sister and mom are going to come down for July 4th for a week (I guess) and my sister and I are both overweight. She always wants to lose weight (just like me) but never does anything about it. She bailed on me for our Bloomsday run in May (grr). She made an off the wall comment to me the other day that I guess we just have to accept that our genetics are going to be that we will be over weight for the rest of our lives. OH I DON'T THINK SO!!! So anyhow I really really want to pump up my exercise, my endurance and get losing some weight and inches. I want to prove that we can do it. Its not impossible, you just have to do it and believe!!! So to my sisters dismay I am not going to be telling her all my hard work until she sees me. I really need to do this not only for me but in hopes that I can try to inspire my sister. My family has too many health issues right now and we need to get focused on getting healthier, stronger and trying our best. Also my DH wants to start working out as well so I am hoping that we can get slim, trim together.

I have done my homework on this. I have 24 weeks to work hard. ONLY ONE TIME during this will I be struggling and that is the week of my anniversary, the last week of the challenge but we are trying to work around it so I can finish the challenge on top :)

PS I love this picture except for my weight had a big ol' knock on my head. Like "hello ... what are you doing to yourself"! But I am now focused and doing it. I have been very active in my PnP and asking questions as well becoming friends with people who I can really relate too. I think that this time I will do it. NOTHING CAN STOP ME. I am a machine. :)

Willpower ??

2008-01-08T13:34:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we have days that we have awesome willpower, some days we honestly slack in willpower. This is a brag for me but today has been a real stressful day at work and also for my co-worker, Erma (as in previous blogs names have been changed to protect my rights) . We weren't able to leave for lunch but we were able to get out for 1/2 hour to go and grab a coffee. Great! So we go by Starbucks, grab a coffee but next door is the archway to evil. COLDSTONE CREAMERY!!! Ice cream! Oh how I love ice cream! Erma decides that a coffee is not good enough (side not .. not SF, NF either) but we must have ice cream. I dug my heels in deep and said "I am not going to go to Coldstone. I am already getting a coffee (NF, SF, Tall Iced Latte) and I am not going to sabotage my workouts for the week or my hard work on eating healthy on 5 minutes of pleasure.

Anyhow this is a huge NSV for me. Why? I am the girl usually with NO WILLPOWER and will do everything fly by the night thinking that its just ONE COOKIE, ONE ICE CREAM, ONE whatever!!! Not anymore. I am going to change!!! I do have willpower inside of myself and I will do this for me! :)

Scratch out Bloomsday

2008-01-07T13:02:00.000-08:00

I have had my heart on the table with the thought of me and my sister getting together for the Bloomsday run in May '08. I was just really looking forward to a "sister weekend". We haven't had this since well I was maybe 16 years and I thought it would be fun. Today I got the email from her saying she didn't think that she would be able to do Bloomsday because of money & etc. She said "Let's do it again some other time ..." Anyhow I kind of had this idea it would happen but I am still disappointed! I just have a hard time with this because I was trying to do something special for us. Something we did in the past, something we both talk about doing. It wasn't only just a "sister fun" weekend but something to help us with the one thing we struggle with EVERYDAY together ... our weight.
Sigh ... Another time, another place!!!

Challenges??

2008-01-07T06:11:00.000-08:00

Some may run from challenges but not me. Call me silly, call me crazy but I am going to jump in with both feet starting two challenges today. Okay so one really doesn't start until next Monday but I am doing the sneak preview since the last week, I will be enjoying my anniversary (hopefully be able to wear something sexy).

Challenge #1- Lose 3lbs between now and V-day. Sounds easy right? Well I lose at a slow rate and I don't want fail another challenge so I am going to be setting the bar at that. We have 6 weeks and at least one or two weeks in there we will have TOM to deal with and I want to achieve my goal.

Challenge #2-Its mainly cardio but its here to Blast the FAT!!!! God only knows that I have enough fat to lose!!! Also, along with this will be training myself for eating HEALTHY and ST. This is the part that I am MOST excited about.

So with all of that .... lets just say "LETS DO IT!!!!"

Measurements? Pictures??

2008-01-06T17:05:00.001-08:00

Measurements? Pictures?? This was my day today!! I had to take some pictures and measurements today for my PnP challenge. On top of that today, I took some bikini pictures! Those bikinis pictures really did scare me. I was humiliated to know what I asked my husband to do to take those pictures. (I know he loves me no matter what) but I was really upset. I want to be a hot little wife that he can wrap one arm around and it drape on.
I just kept looking on the pictures over and over and I just didn't realize that it was me. I didn't want to see it and realize that it was me. I wanted it to be someone else. How did this happen? Why did I let myself go so far? I was really upset!!!
Out of being upset, I did allow myself to eat one 1/2 of a Baby Ruth. Then I stopped and asked myself, why am I doing this? Am I enjoying this? Is this going to make me PnP? Is this seriously going to make the fat melt away? No its not!!! I am not going to let the FGT keep control of my life anymore!!!!! Brushed the FGT off my shoulder and moved on.
I got in some Taebo today. Man, it definitely kicked my butt!!! I am glad that I did it. My wonderful DH is going to be doing it with me. I am really excited over this thought. I hope that he continues to do it with me!

I know that I can do this. I know I can. I have the determination to do it and I had the wake up call of the lifetime! No more excuses!!! No more FGT. I realize that there will come good days, bad days but I will ALLOW the FGT to keep control of my life. I am the one in control!

Small town, crappy gym ....

2008-01-05T17:43:00.000-08:00

I got so disappointed today!! I was super excited before about the local gym thinking that it was going to be a great thing for me. It’s a local gym (no chain) I live here in a small town (population 2200). I have been sick but today I was feeling better so time to go sign myself up (one of my things to do this weekend) and get to working out even if it was just a little cardio.

I get up shower, get dress (phew … I almost had no energy) go there sign up; give them a check for the whole YEAR. When I first come up there, he was trying to get me to jump into his whole thing about his program, his nutritional program (approved by two doctors now) and his workout. I said “Thanks for the generous offer but I think for now I am going to just work with the information that I have from a friend (that’s right Corinne, you are a friend of mine) who is a personal trainer and she has set me up with a workout. He asked if he could look at it. I said “sure”. He did and he told me that I had to be fooling myself that I need to quit playing with the big kids and I need to focus on fat loss before I start using the big toys (weights).

After the whole two piece of paperwork that I had signed. I jumped on the treadmill knowing that it doesn’t have a lot of bells and whistles but that’s fine. Get on there, start it up on there 20 minutes, starts making some horrible grinding noise (and in my head I am thinking … am I too fat for this machine). I look at the treadmill next to it and it has this fat piece of duct tape that says “NO RUNNING” my heart drops. WHAT!!! I look around to this other machine that looks like a treadmill and sure enough is but MANUAL … I mean even Corinne doesn’t hate me that much. J I am still on the search, look at the bikes hop on one … they are like the old fan ones from the 50’s or something. No real way to know how fast or anything. Sigh!!!!! I go home completed disappointed. Feeling like I wasted my money and I wont be able to utilize the gym for my fitness needs. I went home to think about it for awhile, what to do. I am a person who is nice (most of the time) and never want to make people feel bad but come on. I go back up there to talk to him. I told him and his wife that I just don’t know if their gym was a good fit for me and etc. Standing there talking to him for about 20 minutes, I got my $$ back. As we stood there talking he kept telling me when I want to get serious about my weight loss and fitness to come and talk to him. Read his book, have him train me and I won’t be disappointed. I have been a bodybuilder, trained 100’s over the US, blah, blah, blah. If I am looking to run, then you need to train outside and run. No gym equipment can train me for that. If I want to box, then I need to jump in the pin and box. I was just thinking: “Ok Mr. BodyBuilder I have a big ego cause look at my medals and I have written three books”!

The worst part of my day and what made me the most upset was that he was talking all about him and how great he was and not giving Corinne any credit. I can look and see the proof in the pudding of how great she is and her workouts.

Back to square one, I am looking at getting at home treadmills AGAIN! J But I am not letting this get me down. I might have to work around cardio for a few days, weeks but I am going to do this and then he will see me Phit in town and be like “damm … I wish I would know what she did and I will never tell him” :)

I just know that sometimes some people can be too full of themselves and it shows in his gym equipment and everything. But I will not let this get me down. It’s a great learning lesson. So next …………..

No more excuse plan ..

2008-01-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

I am the queen of making excuses of why I didnt eat good or why I didn't workout. I am tried of being this person. I want to be the person who accomplishes what she said she was going to do. This is what I want OVERALL in my life. So for 2008 and onward, I have made myself the promise of not making excuses.

I am going to be going to the gym today to join up a membership here locally. I want to be able to commit to going to the gym. For awhile there I kept saying I would do everything here at home but I am NOT doing it so I am going to go to the gym here in town so that I can get home (since I drive to and forth from work 1hr each way) at a reasonable time.

I am signing myself up for some upcoming challenges to keep me focused especially for the first couple weeks into the new year.I have a planned a DOR on Sundays so that I can focus on the upcoming week.

Honestly anyone that is in my shoes of being overweight, we are the only one that control anything that goes on in our life. No one else can make us go to the gym, make us NOT want to eat that candy bar, or anything else. We need to focus and commit ourselves EVERYDAY to waiting to help ourselves! It may sound selfish but you got one chance at life!!!! Why not make it a healthy one? This came up because I do not want another year of looking back on my life and saying "If I did this or If I did that ...." especially about my life, my health, my weight ... NO MORE EXCUSES! Is that candy bar worth years of being unhappy about my weight? I dont think so. I had to make the decision in my own head. Now, what about you? What are you going to do with your life and your decisions? Remember life happens ... we will have dinners, we will have family events, we will not be perfect 100% but its the part of us that we need to get up, dust the dirt off our butts and get back on the wagon. Don't allow one dinner, one week, one vacation to keep you off track for the rest of our life!

Did I hear another New Year Resolution?

2008-01-02T10:38:00.000-08:00

Had to put my two cents about some new resolutions! I got this from hungry-girl this morning in my email box and I dont know how many people look at other stuff but I thought some of this information may be helpful for you! :) Its nothing new or anything that you haven't already heard but I thought maybe while everyone is still fresh in their minds about "new year resolution" that this could be helpful to them! ;) For me, I have to word it in my own head that it needed to be my "lifetime resolution". Or I was afraid that I wouldnt be commited as well in March or April cause heck its not the beginning of a new year then :)

1. Don't go "on a diet". While diet plans can be helpful, if you think of yourself as being "on a diet", everything will be too black and white. If you're on a diet and suddenly you have a little setback, you may decide you're "off your diet" and go back to your old ways. Think of your new eating plan as more of a lifestyle change -- one that will have ups and downs, with good days and bad.
2. Don't deprive yourself. Remember, your new eating plan shouldn't be about dep rivation. It should be about SATISFACTION. Find foods you LOVE -- ones that satisfy you but are better choices. This is KEY.
3. Drink lots of water. Water is good for you. It's good for your skin and your metabolism. And it helps fill you up. Plus, not enough water can make you cranky and more likely to make bad food choices.
4. Listen to your body. It knows things. If you know that eating cereal for breakfast makes you hungrier throughout the day, then don't eat cereal in the morning. Pay close attention to your body cues. This will help tremendously.
5. Live one day (or even one MEAL) at a time. Don't be discouraged and beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon and eat badly -- just be more aware of what you eat during your next meal.
6. Get exercise with activities you enjoy. I used to HATE exercising. I feared it. Now I exercise but only do what I like (which happens to b e walking on a treadmill 5 times a week while watching reality TV, and weight training 2 times a week with a friend). Find something you actually like to do, and you'll do it. Don't take on an exercise routine that causes pain or discomfort -- you'll just end up ditching it completely. (And I know this isn't an EATING tip, but it's important!)
7. Let yourself cheat a little. Everyone strays once in a while. It's totally normal. Splurge when you need to, and enjoy it (don't feel guilty)! Then get RIGHT back on track, and prove to yourself that you can handle a cheat meal now and then.
8. Keep track of what you eat. Write it down. As dorky as it sounds, you WILL 100% without a doubt do better if you hold yourself accountable for what you eat by keeping a food journal. Just do it -- even if you only write in it every OTHER day.
Good luck -- and have fun!

2008 BRING IT ON!!!!!!

2008-01-01T00:08:00.000-08:00

I have to say this ... BRING IT ON NEW YEAR! I AINT SCARED OF YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am feeling so much more confident this year than in years past! I am not starting off with a new year resolution! I am still working on my life's resolution. HECK YA! I am done for the most part of the year end work at my job now that I have worked nonstop on it. So bring it on! I got some healthy choices of food at home, my schedule printed out, working on my exercise and going to do great!!! If you don't believe me, check back with me in when I have a smoking HOT bod in a few months! I have more knowledge than I know what to do with so I am ready!!!!! I am really excited because I think that I have had a great deal of time to learn, slowly apply but now its time too kick it in high gear!!

Will be checking in ... if you dont hear from me ... kick my butt!!! :)

Love ya all! To a great NEW year!!!! :)

2007-12-19T21:47:00.000-08:00

We got a wii today.we got four controllers and some games and etc. I am excited about it cause if we are going to play video games at least then we are moving besides our fingers.

More exciting news than that. My wonderful sweet husband of mine has decided to start working out with me here at home :) I am so excited. We are going to do our ST on tuesday, thursday,saturday! I went to target and got some more hand weights. And a feq other things. I really am excited especially with the new year, new biggest loser that is couple that starts 1/1/08!!
All of this is great!! Steps to a new life that is healthy and having my husband joib me! To a new and improved us!! Stay tuned to our progress pictures. :)

Buddies?

2007-12-18T08:59:00.000-08:00

Do you have an accountability buddy? I finally had to ask someone if they would be my accountability buddy. Why? Cause if I have one small hang up in my food journal, exercise journal I think to myself ... well there I go and blow again. I expect perfection out of someone who is NOT perfect. :) Funny how we do that to ourselves?

Another thing I have learned in the last few months, especially last few weeks is sometimes you just need to not tell EVERYONE what you are doing, especially if they aren't going to be supportive. I have a couple people in my life that like this. Whenever I try hard to get on the wagon, they like to take a big stick and kick me down. So I have been trying to surround myself more with the people who want to be like me or I should say "I want to be like them". I am not saying I wont talk to these people but I am not going to share with them to only be criticized or told that I am wrong. Are you saying my trainer is wrong? If so, take a look at her. Her pictures say it all! And if she is wrong, that is ok. I will still follow her path. :) Seriously, the other day, I wrote an email after watching the biggest loser and told her that I was ready to come down there, park myself on her porch and have her give me a good work over. Why? Because this time I am committed. I don't care what it takes but I know that I am going to do it this time :) Waste no more time!

NSV for the day. I have my meals planned out to the the last bite of my day and I am not going to stray from it. So far I have already resisted cookies ... Let me tell you that sometimes the cookies aren't my friends.

I am also with myself because yesterday and today, I have stood my ground to be able to say "No, my lunchtime is my time to workout, not to go and eat food that isn't on my plan." For me, its day 2 on track. :) I am planning on staying on this track!!! Yesterday I was asking myself "what happened to the girl who went to S.F. on vacation, still went to the gym and was being good?" I know that I have the commitment inside, I just need to let it out. I think that I am scared of failure. Well "hello silly" I am setting myself up for a bigger failure by not doing it. :) Thats right!!! So that is why I am making the changes NOW! :)

Where have I been?

2007-12-16T21:51:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't been on here to update lately but I have been dealing with a flood that came in my town back on December 3, 2007. It was pretty ugly! I will have more details later of things I wrote on my phone that I just need to copy onto here :)

As for my eating better, working out. Working out has been a struggle the last couple of weeks with all the heavy work of moving people, cleaning and working full time as well but I have been able to get in some exercise.

As for food, I am actually pretty proud of myself. I could have just thrown the towel 100% but I didn't. I told myself that I had to stay strong, I have to keep trying though life isn't always making it easy for me.

I have been having a few people tell me that they think I have lost some weight. The scale and I aren't currently friends but I do think that my stomach isn't as bloated as I really have been trying to stay away from the refined carbs!

I am back on the wagon 100%! I got my plan laid out for me and I am ready to go for it.

A NSV for me was tonight, we went to a 40 year anniversary party. There was cake and etc there. I did treat myself to a SMALL piece of cake but I only ended up taking 2 bites and I set the rest aside for "later" but I didn't end up eating it, I was put in the garbage.

Preplanning for week 12.2.07

2007-12-02T14:43:00.000-08:00

Here is my meal plan & exercise for the week of 12.2.07 !! Please let me know what you all think. If I need to twik something, SPEAK UP please!!!!

I will be sending you an update EVERYDAY of what I ate for my accountability. :) I am tired of finding excuses, this time I am going to do it!!!

Planning?

2007-12-02T09:49:00.000-08:00

We need to make sure that we "plan" our meals, workouts out so that we make sure that we get them in. When we don't we are flying through the day in hopes that we are making the best decisions. So with that thought, I am going to PLAN my WHOLE weeks menu out along with my workouts.

----------------------------------------

We all at times are faced with eating out with work, family dinner or something. I just came across this article and I thought you should take a look at it. It was the 20 worst foods in AMERICA. I was actually surprised myself to see some of the calorie counts in these foods. And the fat content! OH MY GOODNESS. Are they really trying to kill us here?

It bring me back to eating out isn't wrong but take some time and prepare yourself. You know you have a lunch with the work at a certain restaurant. Take some time, look over the menu, make a wise choice, when you get there STICK WITH IT. You will be so much happier!

I hope that this article will help. :)

Enjoy.

Lets move ahead!

2007-12-01T15:45:00.001-08:00

I was thinking today. Why do I still here and analyze on what I could have accomplished in the past when I really need to focus on where I am going on the future. I think this is true for a lot of us. We sit idle thinking of if I did this or that, I would be at goal by now. In the end, we beat ourselves up and we go and some of binge, we fall off the wagon again and it’s this never ending cycle.
I told myself today that I need to focus on what I want to be in the future, then figure out the steps that I need to take to get there, and then maybe along those steps there are baby steps along the way. What kind of rewards can I earn along the way as well? Maybe at our 10lbs loss, we will reward ourselves to a massage or pedicure. Why not give yourself kudos along the way? Makes us feel better about ourselves. Instead of thinking, its only 10#s or maybe its 1#, we can think … one less lb, I have to worry about. And feel a sense of accomplishment.

The only thing we can do about the past is look back, see where we made our mistakes, how to avoid them and LEARN FROM THEM. But we can’t change the past so there is no real reason to dwell on it in my opinion. I think too many of us get caught up in this.

So what are you going to do today to start making changes? Me … I am working on my storyboard. I am hoping seeing the visual guides will help me on my journey and make stronger, healthier woman.

Resisting the tempations like crazy .. :)

2007-11-30T18:28:00.000-08:00

I am really pleased with myself today. Why? Because it was late in the day with a stressful week coming to the end and my co-workers (Erma included) said "Hey do you want coldstone? We are making a run." I said "No thank you" She said "are you sure? You can get a small one?" I said "no thanks" and the persisting continued but I remained strong and tough and said "no, no throughout". It came back to the office, I didn't go out front where it was until I was ready to leave and just headed for the door. Why am I so pleased with myself? Because this is something VERY hard for me. I love sweets! They are my biggest weakness to anything. BUT I am learning that I have the willpower to say no. Is it hard? Heck ya. But is it worth it? Yes! I keep my goal peeled on my eyes so that I don't get so distracted.

Well that was my NSV for the day! Nothing else really going on here! :)

Have a great weekend!

The Devils Hand in the Cookie Jar ..

2007-11-29T13:48:00.000-08:00

Today I went to Target with Erma. She wanted to get some stuff so I said "ok, I will go .." She goes through the candy isle and I can't believe it, it was a whirlwind in the aisle, going right, left hand over hand candy going in the basket! It was TERRIBLE! I told her "What are you doing? Are these gifts?" She said "Some but most aren't. I love Christmas time, it has the best candy. " I said"Until the next holiday." She kept asking me over and over "Do you want this and this and this?" I said "No thank you. I don't want to eat crap like that." The only thing I did have was a tootsie pop sucker this afternoon. It was peppermint :) She gave me a couple of candies and I said "I will have them later." I went back to the office and threw them in the garbage!

This was an acknowledgment: I resisted candy. Yes, I resisted peppermint bark, and everything!

I was thinking today that every month there is some kind of holiday or something that people that want to celebrate with either food or holiday this or that! No wonder American's are so fat. There is a bunch of junk and NO SELF control.

Thats my rant for the day!

Frustrated!

2007-11-29T10:54:00.000-08:00

I am a little frustrated right now. Remember the co-worker I was telling you about that said that she was going to work out at lunch with me said something that perked my interest yesterday and I have been doing a lot of thinking and changing of my habits this week and I thought I might just be able to give us all something to think about.

My email: "Hey Em, Are you still going to the gym with me today? I hope that you are able to make it. I have missed working out with you while I was gone for Thanksgiving. Let me know darling."

Her response back: " i don't know yet... i told Kim I would take her to lunch yesterday so I'm probably going to do that instead. I want to work out but I have a TON of stuff to do before Christmas and I don't have a lot of time in the evenings to work on it with the kids so I'm going to be using a lot of my lunches to get stuff done! Working out though is necessary too...

My response: I know its hard but I am going to make sure that my workouts come first and foremost. I have to do it for ME. :)

Then a few minutes later: of course! You know I will work out with you. Just give me a little break through the holidays... Also, you're my bestest bud here so you're welcome to join me any time on the lunch hour... you know that! :O "

So why this had me thinking is that some of us tend to push off our workouts when they aren't convenient for us. I asked another gal that emails me that has been a HUGE inspiration to work out because she HATES exercise but she does it anyhow and she lost a ton of weight and looks awesome. I asked her "how do you motivate yourself to go to the gym when you hate exercise so much?"

Her reply to me was: "As you prob. know I work out in the a.m. I discovered if I don't do it then, then it just ain't gettin' done. that's just how it is....I learned that..so I drag my butt outta bed every day (5 or 6 days a week), and get it done before our 2 girls get up, before I go to work, etc.I just knew it was something I had to do...it wasn't optional....the same goes for now....it is not an option.....I may hate every single second of it, but I can deal w/ 45 - 60 minutes of hate in a day vs. hating the bigger sized clothes all day long that I would have to wear if I didn't get up & exercise...and of course eat right too.You know, I still have to give myself pep talks in the a.m. to get out of bed?Also one thing that has prob. helped me is that on the occasional occasion that I might sleep a little later than I should....I will still exercise for as long as I can. So I might can only do 15 minutes? that is OK occasionally. It is not all or nothing...You can do it girl!!!"

So where am I going with this long drawn out story and copying you all on these emails? I found for me that I have to do find time to exercise, maybe it will take away a little bit of time from my family but I do it. Why? Cause I have figured that if I spend 1hr a day of ME time that is 365 hours a year but I bet I will gain 10 years on my life by being in better shape, healthier, better role model, everything for my family and me. I know that right now people get wrapped up in the holidays and you only have so many days to get your presents for everyone and you want to make the best use of your time but try to find some time. Like Lori said "even if its 15 minutes" ...... Right now, we can take control of our life whether that be our eating, our exercise or whatever it is and make our life's better now or we can whine about it and not get anywhere. Where do you want to be? Me I want to take control and be the best I can be. One more thought for you all :) Think back to where you were 1 year ago. Have you made progress? Are you at the same weight? Are you doing the yo-yo effect in your life? If you are, then maybe it’s a good time to sit down, figure out why. Are you not buying out the time to get in your workouts? Are you cheating here and there and think it wont be bad cause it’s only a few extra calories and I will get arid of it later? Are you not preparing yourself for the temptations that are your weakness? I think all of this is good for each of us to think about. I am thinking about it myself and that is why I am sharing. I hope that everyone has a great day!

Snow make everyone go crazy ..

2007-11-28T21:38:00.000-08:00

Tonight was prove that everyone can go absolutely crazy when it snows. I don't think that people should be allowed to drive in the snow. Here is my story ..

I got off work at 4pm, my husband told me that its snowing but not quite sticking to the ground. I go to the gym, deal with traffic, think well I grew up in Idaho so now worries about the snow. I am not too concerned, should I be?

Someone along the way SLAMS on his brakes and almost makes me slid into the back of them. A few miles up the road, all of the sudden traffic is stopped on this hill called "Top Hill". Why? Because some STUPID semi tried to make it up, made people stop, people couldn't get traction to get up the hill, then idiots were too impatient, try to go around, slid, hit other cars sitting there, traffic coming up and down, no one knowing what is going on. I called 911 to let them know because I think I could have gotten up the hill but I couldn't guarantee someone wasn't going to hit me or come down the other side. Too much of a blind spot. :(
We had an officer come from Beaverton and he was first nice and then a jerk. Telling all of us that we had to move our vechiles or they will be towed so the snowplow could get through. I asked "where, how?"But he didn't seem to care. I was so frustrated as well as 50 or more people were. So I sat there until it calmed down then I just went for it. The bottleneck, cleared up a bit and I was able to get up the hill and home.

I have decided that if they are going to be an idiot and not know how to drive or gain some patience then I think they shouldn't drive. I pray that tomorrow night will NOT be like that tonight! I know that there is more snow coming but I hope that it will snow so bad on Friday that I can stay home :)

That was my evening. Fun huh? On a better note about my day, I ate great, I went to the gym twice and I am feeling good! :)

Went to the Gym

2007-11-27T20:48:00.000-08:00

Today I went to the gym at lunch. I have been trying to figure out how to get my workouts in with the schedule I have so here is what I have in my head:
Monday:
Lunch- 40 mins cardio
Afterwork- 40 min strength train
Tuesday:
Lunch- 40 mins cardio
Wednesday:
Lunch- 40 mins cardio
Afterwork- 40 min strength train
Thursday:
Lunch- 40 mins cardio
Friday:
Lunch- 40 mins cardio
Afterwork- 40 min strength train
Saturday/ Sunday: 40 mins cardio

Some may think that I am overdoing it but I dont think I am. Why? If I need a DOR, I will push my 110% before I do it. Why so the next day I will be ready to go back to the gym? You ask, do I like exercise? Actually I hate it!!! But why do I want to do it? Because I want to be STRONG, I want to be healthy. I need to push myself!

I am watching the biggest loser and I realize that I have the tools, I have the resources, I just need to do it. I look at the people who are doing the strength training and they ALL make ugly faces, they are all sweaty, they are all "working" hard! That is what I need to do. This is ONE reason that I am going to the gym at night so that I can WORK HARD, I CAN GIVE IT MY ALL AND GET ARID OF ALL THE MAKEUP AND PUSH MY MYSELF TO THE LIMIT! So will you be the biggest LOSER!!! I sure hope so!

Here is a recipe for everyone to try! ENJOY!

Banana Bread Pancakes
2 pouches - Quaker Instant Oatmeal, Weight Control, Banana Bread (or any type/flavor you like)
1/2 cup - Egg Beaters (or 2 eggs)
2/3 cup - Breakstone's Fat Free Cottage
Blend in blender and then cook in a non-stick skillet sprayed with Pam over medium-medium high heat. Makes 8 medium pancakes (about 6") Turn carefully because these pancakes are very tender. May need to cook longer than 'regular' pancakes.
Nutrition Information:

	Fat: 1.5g
	Carbohydrates: 17.7g
	Calories:126.2
	Protein: 10.7g

Something to train for ???

2007-11-25T10:58:00.000-08:00

Okay so I have been down in the dumps about my weight, trying to fight my way back up to the top. I have been asking myself what can I do to help myself get into shape. Having goals? Having something I want to train for? What is it??So here is what I have come up with:
Bloomsday!!!! Its coming up on Sunday, May 4, 2008. Located at Spokane, WA. Only 7.46 miles. This race has memories for me as me and my sister use to go and do it. It was our "girl weekend" before! It was always so much fun. I am trying HARD to get her to go again this coming year. How fun would that be?
Its a little over a 10k race, I have never really thought about that before until today! But I am so excited and pumped about it. I am going to try to get my sister committed to the race, if not I am going to have my hubby train with me and get ready for it. :)

Portland Marathon!!! Okay! This one is a little crazier to join but yeah its in my local area and it gives me something REALLY to work toward! Details on this race: October 5, 2008 located in Portland, Oregon and is 26 miles. They have a part of the marathon to be 5 mile race. I honestly don't know which one I will want to do but I am going to start training right away and will join ONE of the parts of the race. :) I need to talk to one of my friends but I know that they wanted to do this one as well but I don't know if they wanted to do the 5 mile or the 26 mile. YIKES ... either way its going to be hard work but it will pay off!
I will be trying to find a way to "track" my success and my progress. Stay tuned! :) Anyone who wants to join me, let me know. I would love to have a buddy (hint, hint ...vince)!

39 weeks or 273 days??

2007-11-24T21:45:00.000-08:00

So I have 39 weeks or if you want to talk in the day by day mode we have 273 days until our big camping trip! So for the least I should lose 39lbs, or maybe more. My ultimate goal is to lose 52-56lbs so I should be MUCH closer to my goal. I just need to stick with it!

I am hoping that I will be able to get some exercise in and I am not planning on making any more BIG meals for awhile. I need to curb my cooking except for some stirfrys and etc :)

Here is my plan:

Monday- "workout either at lunch or after work" for 1hr

Tuesday-"workout at lunch"

Wednesday-"workout either at lunch or after work" for 1hr

Thursday- "workout at lunch"

Friday-"workout either at lunch or after work" for 1hr

Saturday/ Sunday- try to just get some exercise during the day

As for eating, I'm thinking of "not" counting points but sticking to this:

Breakfast: Banana/ Protein Shake

Snack: fruit

Lunch: lean cuisine with some extra veggies or with salad

Snack: veggies/ dip or popcorn or fruit or something lite

Dinner: lean cuisine with some extra veggies or with salad (at least 3-4 times a week)

Snack: SF FF pudding or something like that :)

I hope that something like this will help me stick on track. :) :) I can't wait to see some changes! :)

Do you like curry???

2007-11-24T10:12:00.000-08:00

Tonight I made my first "curry" dishes! I made potato & chicken curry and shrimp curry. It was really good! I was so happy with the way it turned out. :) I have never made curry before but this was excellent!

We brought dinner up to Mom and Dad's so that they could enjoy the meal with us! :) I love to have people over and "entertain". I would love to start having more people over even if its with my in-laws to help break the ice :)

I would like to start making more and more authentic foods but learning how to make them healthier. This is one thing I would like to start to do.

I have really enjoyed my days being off of work and not having the stress of my job. I really feel so much better inside. Maybe it would get a little old after awhile but for now, I am just happy! :) I am glad that I still have tonight, tomorrow, and Monday with my sweetie! But I need to relax a little bit and relax. :)

Well I'm off to spend time with my hubby! :) He is getting sick and I need to see if he needs something.